Texas Two-Step

“All new states are invested, more or less, by a class of noisy, second-rate men who are always in favor of rash and extreme measures, but Texas was absolutely overrun by such men.” – Sam Houston

Let me start this post by stating that there is NO DOUBT that I believe in my heart of hearts that this is where God wants me to be and I would not be where I am as a man today if I had not packed up my worldly belongings in two large duffle bags and jumped a Greyhound bus and left the driving to them 5 years ago, never to return to my native home of Pittsburgh.

While people immediately identify me as a refugee from up yonder, the fact is I am starting to notice Texas rubbing off on me.  E.G.

  • anything under 55 degrees is suddenly a wee bit chilly
  • I simply WILL NOT leave the house if there is frozen preciptiation on the ground
  • My punctuality game has taken a major hit
  • I am a barbecue snob
  • I have taken to putting ranch on EVERYTHING

In all seriousness, though, while I love Texas, I do not love it like Native Texans do.  Their affinity for Texas can be down right treasonous at times; manifests itself in random foolishness like the Texas pledge, the propaganda machine that is Texas History in schools and that penchant for threatening Secession (I asked around, fellow Texans…if you leave the country you will need to build a fence to keep us IN.  Texas gets a lot less attractive as a home when its not one of fifty (or fifty-seven, shout out to POTUS and his new math)) and is a stand alone entity.  Frankly, the only reason this place is livable at all is due to the fact that federal regulations keep Texas from coming COMPLETELY unhinged.

But this is my new home.  A home I moved to in 2004 in part to revitalize interest in local politics.   I would have been better off moving to Detroit to save General Motors and Chrysler.  Thank God for plan B.

I will get back to Plan A as soon as I finish school.


  1. steeltowngirl

    I was just in Texas and I was just amused by the randomness that was Texas pledge. I was the only person in that auditorium that sat down, but, uh, I only pledge allegiance to the United States flag, not a Texan one. Or a Pennsylvanian one, for that matter. I absolutely love the state and I’m considering packing up and leaving Pittsburgh myself, but the native Texan love for that state will be something I can never reach.

  2. steelergurl

    I love how you think…I do. You are funny in a really innocent kind of way and sarcastic in a really STRONG way.
    I just can’t do Texas – but I understand the temp thing. I miss San Diego for the same reasons I left. No fall, no leaves on the ground, no “smells like football season” because it’s always 65 and sunny. Now I miss that 65 and sunny because when you get seasons, you undoubtedly also get winter.
    I think you would be a fantastic no BS politician.
    Wherever you decide to run, you already have your communications director in place.

  3. XPhile1908

    This really made me smile. I’ve often wondered what makes native Texans (and even some “implants”) the way they are. Now it’s all clear to me: MIND CONTROL! LOL!

    Good work bruh. Now do you believe me?



  4. Coco

    Your quote by Sam Houston says it all! You are here for a reason and maybe it’s so we implants can teach these Natives how things should REALLY be run!

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