Tagged: Marriage

Three the Hard Way: 9/11 didn’t change EVERYthing (interlude)

Previously on Inkognegro 2.0

After reading the Interlude, you can get a sense of the cauldron of conflict that 3.1 was conceived and nurtured in. The picture looked fine, but story behind the picture was Toxic.

(This is why the thousand words a picture tells is never enough)

The physical picture maintained a sheen suitable for framing, but the reality was infecting all those involved.

By Labor Day weekend, the situation had devolved into a war-of-the-roses type thing where folk had retreated into their respective foxholes and the boy wandered back and forth between us like some special envoy in the safe zone. I had clearly moved on, I just hadn’t moved out. To say it was ugly engages in a form of understatement that I am personally uncomfortable

As with the country, the events of 9/11 changed everything. On the surface that is.

While I am confident EVERYONE has a “where were you on 9/11 story” those of us who could see the smoke in the air and engaged in the cinematic exodus out of lower manhattan and Inner Washington, DC have our own peculiar stories. The day brought me face to face with how fleeting life can be, how easily angry spouses can be transformed to grieving widows. For the first time in months, we sat as a family and bonded over the tragedy and how our family had been spared. All was well.

For a week.

After that, you may have well said that the Terrorists had won in my house, because it was business as usual at my house

Three the Hard Way: Can’t We all Just Get Along? (Interlude)

There was a certain resignation to my life in April, 2001.  To the outside world, the three of us were the ideal small family.  We screamed out for a patronizing commercial extoling the wonders Wal-Mart could do for young Black Families.  I was married but realized that it was going nowhere fast.  As in most marriages, it had become a monster that two people each put a great deal of effort into constructing, but as is always the case, the history books will write that it was all my fault.  We were great parents, but not very good spouses and I could see the end up ahead, even though I dreaded the effect it would have on Inkgnegro 3.0 who was the sole propelling force in my life.  Rest assured, no piece of paper would have kept us together had he not been born.

I remember the fight clearly.

Her: Blah blah blah

Me: Blah blah blah (under my breath) With your dumb ass.

Her: *Leaps across the room and punches me in the jaw…hard*

Me: *takes punch: throws her on the bed to prevent more punches*

*large cat exits in a rush*

*small boy enters yelling and screaming*

*Her and Me realize that we have NO business carrying on like this, both stand up and glare like we were caught with our hands in the proverbial cookie jar*

It was at that moment that we calmed the hysterical boy and finished the argument in a less physical manner.

At that precise moment, as I drove to work on the night before Easter, I was done.  All the arguments we had hidden from the boy were exposed in the most ugly format possible.  He was 2 1/2, and I have been meaning to ask if he remembers it.

It was April 15, 2001 when TFMI told me that if I was going to go, I needed to go now and not keep her in suspense.  I was on my way to work, literally.  I stopped long enough to grab another tie, and a pair of boxers and I left.  I left the money from my check in the account, opened up a new acct with the money I made from the second job and moved on in every way possible.  By Friday I had a new place, and by May 1, life was starting to make sense for me.

It was the Friday before Mother’s day when I came by to drop off her Mother’s day gift from 3.0 and realized that TFMI wasn’t herself.  Upon great interrogation, it was revealed that she was pregnant.

Just like that; I realized that Life wasn’t going to work with me around the corner living the “single” life like Cameo.  On Mother’s Day night I moved back into the apartment and did my best to resurrect the monster I had slain with one quick decision.  I succeeded to the extent that the Monster became a Zombie that would have made Romero proud.

Marriage the blessed sacrament had become Marriage the job.  and I wanted to take that Job and shove it.  It was in this atmosphere that Inkognegro 3.1 was nurtured and grew in utero.