Tagged: Life Lessons

Ignore the Power of Your Instincts at your peril.

As a waiter, I witness indecision up close and personally.

“Do I want the Twiggy Salad or the Albert Haynesworth 3LB PorterHouse? What do you think?”

Me: That is a curious choice, maam, don’t you think?  How did you arrive at THOSE two possibilities?

I am not about to intervene and aid in the selection of two completely different ideas for someone else.  I have enough problems making my OWN choices. 

Speaking of my own choices…

Today I came face to face with a terrifying possibility. 

It wasn’t  just the possibility that I was wrong about something. 

It was the possibility that I was wrong about something that I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN BETTER ABOUT.

An example:

Let’s say you’re Getting your Surf on and minding your own business and you spy a link that says

“Click this link and input your Social Security # to receive a free Tickle Me Cabbage Patch Doll holding a Brand New Wii-Pad while wearing Limited Edition Jordans in your size. ”

At first you think: Hey…I might get got fooling around adding my SS# on the internet all willy-nilly like.

Then…Hmmm…maybe its legit.  It IS posted in Helvetica, after all.

Next thing you know….

You wake up and your Laptop has roaches crawling all over it.  Not Roaches you can kill…but life sized e-roaches crawling on your screen like some Post-apocalyptic screen saver*. 

Now…Deep down you KNEW that clicking that link was a bad idea.   But for reasons that Just.don’t.warrant.Steering away from following your instincts.

As you get older, your instincts get stronger and more precise, ( I hope) so your ability to choose the right rolls of the dice to gamble on are based more in experience and less in “the moment”

But if you shortchange your instincts in favor of seeing things as they need to be in order to justify doing some shit you probably ought not to…That would be you setting yourself up.

Setting yourself up is worse than Being set up…I promise.

*This happened to the wife’s laptop.  For reasons unknown to me, she was determined to find the RKelly Sex tape on the internet.  She was either too embarrased to ask me or she figured  I was too Pegroid to know how to find it.  I told her that it showed her right for falling prey to either circumstance.  I then Exterminated her Laptop, cause…I had vows to maintain.