Tagged: Inkognegro 3.1

Three the Hard Way – Inkognegro 3.1: The Momma’s Boy

Author’s Note: forgive the tardiness, Labor, newborn babies, custodial parenting, stuff like that intruded and I ended up spending more time Living the story than writing about it.  My bad.  You won’t miss a detail, I promise.

Previously on Three The Hard Way

In the aftermath of 9/11, there was enough flux in my life that I could pretend my family life was back to normal.  I trudged through The fall of 2001 with my head down, saying very little verbally, but tackling my new found passion of writing.  Writing at that time was like the therapy that I had never experienced.

I was participating on an anonymous group blog called Kindred with a bunch of established Bloggers.  The rush I felt as a part of that immensely talented collective inspired me to creative heights I have NOT found since.  I was BLOGGING with the Best Black Bloggers in  the world way back in TWO THOUSAND ONE, SON!

I spent the autumn oblivious to my family, Engaging just enough to keep everyone quiet about the turmoil of the past and to focus on how I was going to survive eighteen years of Loveless marriage while raising my sons.   Suffice it to say that it never occured to me that they might NOTICE that mommy and daddy didn’t really like each other all that much.  That 3.0 ALREADY could tell that something wasn’t quite right even as he was concentrating on the wonders of Potty Training.

That 3.1 was a momma’s boy was inevitable.  That he resembled TFMI was merely coincidence.  For someone who spent the last 4 months in the womb of a woman whose husband only occasionally shielded his hopeless outlook on marital bliss and family, it is difficult to imagine that I could have built up a great deal of cool points in utero.

But none of that stopped me.  I was a man who only vaguely remembered having a Father in the house.  I told ANYONE who would listen to my digital rantings, that i Would NEVER be THAT father.  Id Stick in through thick and thin.  Wasn’t gonna make it until death did us part, but I would DEFINITELY make Graduation.

Famous Last words.

Three the Hard Way: Can’t We all Just Get Along? (Interlude)

There was a certain resignation to my life in April, 2001.  To the outside world, the three of us were the ideal small family.  We screamed out for a patronizing commercial extoling the wonders Wal-Mart could do for young Black Families.  I was married but realized that it was going nowhere fast.  As in most marriages, it had become a monster that two people each put a great deal of effort into constructing, but as is always the case, the history books will write that it was all my fault.  We were great parents, but not very good spouses and I could see the end up ahead, even though I dreaded the effect it would have on Inkgnegro 3.0 who was the sole propelling force in my life.  Rest assured, no piece of paper would have kept us together had he not been born.

I remember the fight clearly.

Her: Blah blah blah

Me: Blah blah blah (under my breath) With your dumb ass.

Her: *Leaps across the room and punches me in the jaw…hard*

Me: *takes punch: throws her on the bed to prevent more punches*

*large cat exits in a rush*

*small boy enters yelling and screaming*

*Her and Me realize that we have NO business carrying on like this, both stand up and glare like we were caught with our hands in the proverbial cookie jar*

It was at that moment that we calmed the hysterical boy and finished the argument in a less physical manner.

At that precise moment, as I drove to work on the night before Easter, I was done.  All the arguments we had hidden from the boy were exposed in the most ugly format possible.  He was 2 1/2, and I have been meaning to ask if he remembers it.

It was April 15, 2001 when TFMI told me that if I was going to go, I needed to go now and not keep her in suspense.  I was on my way to work, literally.  I stopped long enough to grab another tie, and a pair of boxers and I left.  I left the money from my check in the account, opened up a new acct with the money I made from the second job and moved on in every way possible.  By Friday I had a new place, and by May 1, life was starting to make sense for me.

It was the Friday before Mother’s day when I came by to drop off her Mother’s day gift from 3.0 and realized that TFMI wasn’t herself.  Upon great interrogation, it was revealed that she was pregnant.

Just like that; I realized that Life wasn’t going to work with me around the corner living the “single” life like Cameo.  On Mother’s Day night I moved back into the apartment and did my best to resurrect the monster I had slain with one quick decision.  I succeeded to the extent that the Monster became a Zombie that would have made Romero proud.

Marriage the blessed sacrament had become Marriage the job.  and I wanted to take that Job and shove it.  It was in this atmosphere that Inkognegro 3.1 was nurtured and grew in utero.