I wrote my 3.0 a letter last week. It was for his 13th birthday. Which would be cool if his birthday was in December.
His Birthday is October 14.
I was homeless on October 14, and writing a letter to my son was the exact last thing I could do at the time. I called and we had the usual conversation on his mother’s cell phone.
“How are you How is school having fun playing football I am proud of you youre getting so big I am sorry I couldn’t make it to visit like I said I would I am making changes to my life to be in a better place to be closer to you guys please take care of each other and look out for your cousin and your mother I love you so much. ”
Regardless of how up or down my life has been, the conversations with my sons have always been the same.
For my son’s 13th Birthday, I wrote a lot closer to what I felt.
I welcomed him to his first steps of manhood and proceeded to start apologizing for my failures.
That wasn’t smart. Upon reading the letter, 3.0 was very distraught, feeling as though the pain I was feeling was at his hand, even as I took pains to exonerate them both (him and his brother) from blame.
Ex#1 was very evenhanded in encouraging me to continue to write to him, but not to go so hard on myself, as it was obvious that any pain I felt hurts 3.0 just as much.
The darndest thing happened Come Monday when I called them for Christmas.
I didn’t talk to him about the letter..i just talked to him
We just talked…about whatever. Music, Gifts, Family, His favorite Basketball player (Derrick Rose) the way his Mother and Stepfather ridicule 3.1 for Picking up and putting down Football teams to support. (He is a Saints fan, largely because no one will allow him to change teams for the 4th time in 7 years)
From a painful letter…a new path was forged. My birthday isn’t until June, But this is the best present I have gotten in years.