The Art of Owning Your Feelings

I am a man of many pet peeves. 

So many that I don’t even bother to rank them. 

They are deep, they are old, and they are enduring.

Today’s Pet peeve is the following. 

Them: Are you okay? You seem really bothered.

Me: Nah…Im a lil irritated but Im not all that Heated. 

Them: No, you’re definitely angry. 

^—This right here?  No. No, No, a thousand times no.

I don’t own much.  But My feelings?  I own every stitch.  I paid for a lifetime of feelings and they come already paid for.

I get to use them as much or as often as I like. 

If you ask me how I feel, I am going to tell you. 

It’s going to be complex and nuanced…because my feelings are complex and nuanced. 

NO, thats probably not how your daddy did it.

Or your Ex.

Or (insert whatever dude comes to mind)

I have suffered from being a little loose with the truth in my past, I am actively trying to overcome that. 

What I don’t do…is lie about my feelings. 

I don’t sugarcoat them or Bullshit you about them. 

And if we have any kind of real relationship, I divulged this little tidbit early on. 

When you openly question my emotions, or even worse, flat out call bullshit on them you basically tell me that my feelings are yours…not mine.

You don’t get to do that. 

Those are my feelings.  Fucked up though they may be.  They are mine…and I put them to you exactly as I felt them. 

When you make  a habit of trying to tell ME how I feel about shit, I make a habit of Not feeling too great when youre around…and telling you about that.

Is this to say This is how im supposed to do it?

No.

This is to say this IS how I do it.

Warts and all, folks…That’s what I’m asking.

8 comments

  1. Tyrone M.

    Yes. Do not tell me how I feel, especially when I tell you otherwise. I have had maybe one or two people shock me when they detected what I was feeling or thinking without me even saying it. But they’ve never flat out told me how I was feeling. That is a huge pet peeve.

    I need to somehow manage to channel the brutal honesty that is on my mind at times though. I can see how that could lead to a blowup. Well written.

  2. @wizardofoz321

    Invalidation is the worst feeling in the world. It’s like a mixture of anger/rage, frustration, sadness, wishing to be understood, etc. It’s been done to me all of my life, mostly by family, and the buck stops here.

    A good friend of mine describes me as “brutally honest”. It’s kinda true. Doesn’t make life easier, but it is what it is.

  3. annette_b

    Not so much a reply to this post, just want to say how glad I am that you’ve decided to blog again. I used to check this sight daily until you dropped out of the blogosphere so I’m delighted to have some catching up to do and I’m very much looking forward to future postings.

  4. huny

    wow. ain’t that the damn truth. that’s a huge annoyance of mine, especially as of late. I’m the authority on how I feel. I’m the fuckin sheriff when it comes to me.

  5. rhapsodyrose

    hmmmmmmmmmm……interesting….ain’t no better person to be than oneself.
    Telling it like it is, hmmmmm, lets just say, been there, don’t that and worn out the t-shirt. What I have gained/learnt is the art of saying what i need to say without slaying my out inners, cutting throats, and demolishing self-esteem unless the situation/circumstances warrant it and like anything else in life sometimes, every once in a while one needs to revert.

    Great post…
    Stay blessed.

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