Allow me to paint a not so hypothetical scenario for you…

A middle aged white man decides to demonstrate that he is clearly in need of a significant level of professional help from a mental health specialist by Launching an gun attack on a group of women in a Pittsburgh Fitness center.

As fate would have it…We know why he did it because he was considerate enough to leave a note outlining his hatred for women.

Later…a blog of his was found in which he delves into some bizarre unhip dialect of ebonics where he decides to sentence white women to a lifetime of impalement and general abuse by Black Penises.  He figured that since we had conquered the White House (thanks to the Liberal Media, of course) that we could be his useful idiots and screw white women the way he thinks Obama will screw the country.

Oh…you DON’T believe me?

In light of this I got ideas outside of Obama’s plans for the economy and such. Here it is: Every black man should get a young white girl hoe to hone up on. Kinda a reverse indentured servitude thing. Long ago, many a older white male landowner had a young Negro wench girl for his desires. Bout’ time tables are turned on that shit. Besides, dem young white hoez dig da bruthrs! LOL. More so than they dig the white dudes! Every daddy know when he sends his little girl to college, she be bangin a bruthr real good. I saw it. “Not my little girl”, daddy says! (Yeah right!!) Black dudes have thier choice of best white hoez. You do the math, there are enough young white so all the brothers can each have one for 3 or 6 months or so.

*cues the horrible scratch of the record in my head*


What did my penis do to get inserted into this situation.  Don’t Black men and their penises (Penii?)  get enough drama for the issues they actually involve themselves in without Getting added in as accessories after the fact?

I was out in the streets for most of today, so I only heard snippets from the army of talking heads referencing racism and Obama.

Now, I am not exactly a mental health specialist, although I’ve been known to perpetrate one on Twitter.

Suffice to say whenever a straight white man fantasizes about white women being savaged sexually by Black men, it is bound to cause attention.

As the OWNER of a black penis…I confess that I am just a weeeeeeeee (Penile Punnishness alert) bit uncomfortable with the insertion (theres another one) of my penis into such a tragedy.

The unfortunate reality is that the mere presence of a Black Penis, no matter how incidental to the topic, can tilt the focus towards the penis.   In this series, I will address some of my own suspicions and issues with black penises. (Penii?)

As I ponder the penis for way more time than I have any business doing…I would encourage you to post in the comments sections particular questions and comments for me to address.

More on this tomorrow.


  1. Onye

    Penii is not a word. I heard the record scratch in my head loudly. That deserves a WTF for starters. That craziness does reopen the question of why white men (in general) are intimidated by black men (in general) whereas white men’s politics are still socially screwing (yes I said it) the country into oblivion. Obama’s been president for less than a year so what are they so scared of??

    • Rick

      >That craziness does reopen the question of why white men (in general) are intimidated by black men (in general)

      I think that’s over-played by blacks (in general). 🙂

      It may ring true for whites over 60, but most younger white folks I know are more sophisticated than that.

      >whereas white men’s politics are still socially screwing (yes I said it) the country into oblivion.

      It’s not just white men’s politics; it’s everyone, white, black, or Hispanic. Politics is an inherantly dishonest profession. Think about it — who on Earth would spend millions of dollars of his and other people’s money for a chance at a job that pays $400k (ie, the Presidency)? It doesn’t make any sense, unless you’re on a power trip.

  2. Rick

    This looney blaming black folks for, ultimately, his inability to score with white women, is no different than Alicia Keys saying gansta rap was a conspiracy launched by “the Government” to keep black people down (or AIDS or crack or fill-in-the-blank problem).

    He’s just giving the crazy-armed-white-guy version, instead of the talented-black-gal version. 🙂

    Regardless, both ideas are delusional. I’ve worked in a government office. “The Government” couldn’t organize a church bake sale.

  3. Y

    My goodness, what the hell are we going to do with this ranting and raving, insecure, lunatics, that love injecting race (and black penises, penii?) where they dont belong.

    A guess its a good thing this fool offed himself.

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