In the process of trying to get to the core of my status as a father of three, I have not done my proper due diligence in painting a proper picture of just HOW my first marriage ended up an exercise in putting on appearances and thinly veiled contempt.
The Long answer is incompatibility and an inability to work together and grow together. But me and experience has proven that answer flatly insufficient.
95% of the stumbles I experienced in BOTH of my marriages could have been easily remedied with some honest and frank conversation and introspection on all parts.
Even though through the magic of 20/10 hindsight we would NEVER have progressed beyond casual dating partner and have both matured and moved on to successful marriages, I am confident that we would have scrapped at it and ground out an ugly win. But that other 5% kept getting in the way.
NOTHING will wreck a marriage like infidelity.
Even the most emotionless single episodic infidelity in the worst Marriage is the metaphorical equivalent of throwing your child out of a burning three story building when there is a kiddie pool full of alcohol garnished with shards of plate glass directly beneath you.
Sure you See it…but that doesnt mean you can avoid it.
The fall may not kill you, instantly. But 99% of the time you will wish it did. The aftermath is FAR worse than any Death your child(relationship) might come upon.
I have done that.
More than once.
I’ve never hit the pool directly.
OHHHH but I have been close.
Close enough for the Baby/relationship to be too injured to live a full life.
Once I even Killed it.
You can only throw the same baby out the window so many times before the baby’s body just gives up.
Infidelity is something that can happen to ANYONE. Your House (life) catches fire…and your impulse comes to grab that Baby (your relationship) and toss it out to safety.
Who wants to have their baby burn up in the house? No one, right?
Then work on putting the fire out…instead of throwing the baby out of the window like a suitcase.
(The ink says this Metaphor needs more flushing out….Part II REAL soon.)