The Grammy Post

7:00 Frank Sinatra shows us what a Grammy is from the Grave.

Alicia Keys plays with Frank’s Magical Singing.

(I’ve completely gotten over the Grammys giving Alicia 54 Grammys and not giving India Arie even one. Shes grown up so nice.)

I guess we get to forgive Frank for clapping off key, being dead and all.

And that’s a pretty dress, all 105 yards of it.

7:06 Carrie Underwood singing Before He Cheats accompanied by a bunch of folk who have never REALLY played on buckets outside before.

I wonder if Jessica Simpson would trade Tony Romo for a Grammy?

And I’ma Need Carrie to give Christina Aguilera back that run she just made.

7:09 Prince comes out in a red suit to present best Female R&B Vocal.

I’d love to see Chrissette Michelle but Alicia Keys is walking away with this one.

Jill Scott was happy for her, but the dude sittin next to her must have been fired by AKeys once.

Alicia Keys puts a great deal of effot into giving you reasons not to hate her.

7:17 Chalk up a Black History moment for James Harris, III Chairman of the Music Academy for a few moments.

Segue into the first performance of the Time in Fifteen Years.

7:20 in a move that will annoy the piss out of the 30-44 African American demographic, the Time is morphed into a backup Band for a Rihanna A&B selection.

Now it could be me, But it appears that Rihanna is wearing a large bundle of wheat.

And now for a lil piece of Jungle Love, which I believe could have been what Rihanna was conceived to.

And yes, Rihanna is taller than Morris Day, who only hid he fact that he was so short behind the fact that He hung out with Prince.

7:24 Tom Hanks honors the Band with a Lifetime Acheivement award. No songs for them.

Tom Hanks then starts discussing the Beatles, conveniently leaving out the fact that they pretty much robbed old southern Black folk.

Mrs. Ink’s friend mentions that Yoko will probably outlive all the Beatles, and any children or grandchildren they might have..

I do wanna see Cirque du Soleil when I grow up.

I am sure this show is wrought with symbolism and metphors, but I just see a woman flying around hanging from two rings being batted around by pieces of a VW Beetle.

Cue the young Black boy getting his Paul McCartney on. Followed by his auntie/Gramma.

Bring on the Choir dressed in Black.

I believe this was in Across The Universe which I proceed to add on to my netflix.

8:19 Miley Cyrus and Cyndi Lauper present Amy Winehouse with Best New Artist. Nice to see Ledisi get her 3 seconds of shine. (LOST IN FOUND IN STORES NOW!

8:22 Jason Bateman has Outside duty. with the Foo Fighters and the My Grammy Moment Orchestra promoting some random contest designed to drive parents crazy with normal carrier rates applying.

I am voting for the girl with the Cello. Cause aint much more sexy than a woman and her cello.

8:23 Kanye West and a bunch of flames and those silly shades which apparently glow in the dark.

Ye gets better at this everytime I see him. I can rattle off about 12 songs Id Rather hear than this though.

Cool, Glow in the dark Violins.

Ah…my favorite Kanye West Song.

I wonder how glad he is he wrote this song before.

8:30 John Legend has Five Grammys?

News flash: Fergie’s singing ability is vastly overstated.

and you should cop that John Legend Live in Philadelphia if you see it at Target.

They give The Beatles another Grammy.

ok, Who told Tina Turner to stop Aging?

Ok, she didn’t age but her performance did.

And Look out for Beyonce as Etta James in Cadillac Records

As soon as Beyonce admits shes over 30, I will go ahead and place her in the hate free zone.

Cue the obligatory post-Beyonce Performance shot of Jay-Z.

ANOTHER Grammy for Amy Winehouse. (The songwriter’s award? CMON now)

Dexter on CBS??? hmm….im torn as to whether or not to watch on CBS or do the DVD.

Back to Jason Bateman outside in the LA Night.

The First woman wins (Who is QUITE pretty, altough shed be even prettier with a Cello)and now gets to perform with the FOO Fighters.

I don’t know much about the Foo Fighters, I just know they got a cool name.

Oooh a Black Cello. Nice. (what, I got a Woman and Cello Fetish, what do you want?)

George Lopez is a funny dude, but not tonight.

Excuse me while I FF past the dude in the Hat.

One day, Solange will actually be famous.

One Day. .

Best Rap Album goes to Kanye West who did the undoable. He actually Stopped the Music.

And Yes, he DOES own the Grammy For Best Album. This is#3.

Now for the obligatory Gospel Performance, introduced by Ludacris???

Aretha Franklin apparently has been losing weight, so I will save any sideways comments.

BeBe Winans who really needs to thank his sister for carrying him all those years.

Quick, Go Google the Madison Bumblebees all I know Is they blow the ___ out of some Trombones.

The Clark Sisters (who seem to have lost the equivalent of ONE Clark Sister since I saw all four of them last.)

Trinitee 5:7 who is still together, much to my surprise.

Israel and New Breed, my mother’s favorite current Gospel Group.

and now the big Finale, singing a song and I can’t pick out ONE word. But they sound great.

Oh, its the Iphone song and the woman who sang it. Yay.

a woman who won the grammy 50 years and Kid Rock sing a cute duet.

Then they give the Best Rock Album to the Foo Fighters. good for them.

Why do they continue to allow Stevie Wonder in front of live Microphone?

He honors Berry Gordy with a Grammy and then Introduces Alicia Keys, Who sits first Chair in the Hate-Free Zone, although I havent seen those earrings since Leonardo DiCaprio slipped off of it in Titanic.

Alicia Keys.  John Mayer. No One. Hot Pants.  Let the Church Say Amen.

Two Brits give away the Country Grammy to  a guy with no Hat.

Max Roach is a Beast.  Good lookin on his Lifetime Grammy.

Herbie Hancock and a Chinese Virtuoso whosname I didn’t catch do an incredible performance of Rhapsody in Blue.

Yo, These two Cats are KILLLLLLING IT.

Taylor Swift and some dude whose name I missed are announcing a Rap Song Collaboration Grammy for Rihanna and Jay.
Cuba Gooding introduces Amy Winehouse live Via Satellite at some UNGODLY Hour in London.

Amy Sings an A & B selection.  She sounds great, but im a bit concerned about her physical Coordination.

As for her Backup Singers…they are Ginsu Sharp.

Good for Amy, record of the Year…  Please Stay clean.

And is there a rule that Blair Underwood must kiss every average Pretty White woman on Network Television?  Blair Underwood and Elaine?

Now for the remembrance section.  Pimp C, but no sign of Stack Bundles.

I didn’t know Dan Fogelberg Died.

Yeah, I admit it, I wasn’t Listening so I don’t know who these folk are. And I see now that I don’t know who he is cause no one told me.  That’s Josh Groban on Piano, though.

Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis and John Fogherty have…a revival?

Jerry Lee Lewis belts out the one song I know of his and Little Richard tries to eclispe that Geico Commercial.   I had a Girlfriend with a hairdo like Little Richard’s.  Her Makeup was never that flawless though.

Will I  Am stops making Videos to give a little medley of random songs.

Damn, Quincy Jones has been getting his Marlon Brando On lately.

Usher has been getting his….Ahh I cant say this.

AND IN A SHOCKER, Its Herbie Hancock.  Let me get my ass to The Internet the Store to see what the fuss is all about.

Turn out the lights, Don Meridith and the World Class Wrecking Cru, this show is over.

3 comments

  1. deesha

    Thank you!!!!!!!!! I feel like I was there.

    You know, I really want to believe that Beyonce (or, Be-Yahweh as my favorite blogger calls her, because of her stans) is < 30. Why? Because it would be worse for her to be that vapid and that old.

    Oh, so much more to comment on…but I must get some shut-eye.

  2. tws392000

    Since you didn’t say this was the first annual Grammy recap, does this mean it’s one and done?

    I have come to the realization that Alicia Keys is every bit as fine as Beyonce without trying so hard.

    I’ll be looking out for the BET Awards recap, vol. 2.0.

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