Introducing: APT

After taking a long weekend for the Fourth, I wanted to drop this little nugget of genius (not MY genius)

This was put out 2 weeks ago (shouts to  The Audacity of Dope)

He got more good ish.

The Second Annual BET Awards Recap

Warning: this post weighs in at just under FOUR THOUSAND WORDS.  There will be an abridged Version posted tonight  for those of you allergic to posts of that level.  Proceed with caution. the jokes flow in bunches, even if all of them aren’t funny.

• Powered by Mountain Dew Voltage(blue colored raspberry-citrus and ginseng flavored) my wife’s Hooters leftovers, and Fort Worth’s finest tap water.
  

And so it is, June 24, 2008 and it is time for another illuminating snapshot in Black History.

Yeah, folk, hate all you like, the BET awards are a snapshot in time for where the culture of our people is in 2008.

I am not endorsing this snapshot, I am merely putting it on display.

A fact that my wife just reminded me is an astounding misuse of my God-given ability.

7:00pm – The show opens with one of the many young men who should be paying royalties to Michael Jackson, one Usher Raymond Foster.

Who is apparently getting to the stage in his life where he is too old to be putting out club bangers and has been off the scene (getting his Broadway on, but still) long enough that he looks like he is biting Chris Brown and Ne-yo (who, as I stated earlier, are all biting Michael Jackson.

Speaking of Broadway, I am a bit annoyed that such an accomplished performer as Mr. Raymond is SHAMELESSLY lip-synching. As the elder statesman for male R&B singers, I find this most unacceptable. Surely he could slide in and and do a classic Usher Run or two…but, alas, no.

Michael Jackson is not going to be pleased.

MC Lyte is still doing voice work for BET.

What did I learn from all the names…That SouljaBoy’s last name is Tellem. (Tellem what?)

DL Hughley, (who clearly is the least busy of the Kings of Comedy these days) is the host this year and pretty much came out and proved why he is the ONLY King of Comedy who is ONLY collecting residuals from his show.

7:11 - Jennifer Hudson and Terence Howard prove that having Oscar Nominations won’t prevent awkward and unentertaining banter

Best Male R&B artist: Chris Brown, Raheem Devaughn, J. Holiday, Ne-Yo, Trey Songz .

Chris Brown wins and reminds us that his people skipped past the whole speech making part of artist development. Berry Gordy is mumbling about folk not learning anything from the Motown years.

The hierarchy is: Label, managers, momma, God…and then a promotion of the fans to number one.

Chrysler tries to sell us vehicles that just don’t fit in the modern $4 dollar a gallon economy. But LOTS of cool Gadgets.

Pepsi dusts off an old Super Bowl Commercial with Justin Timberlake. Apparently they don’t have anyone Black on the endorsement list.

Verizon breaks out a good random commercial.

Dreamworks highlights a movie with Iron man playing a brother. Apparently the irony is lost on them.

Hell Date is up for season number 2.

American Gangster season 2 is on DVD. Cause you don’t know nearly enough about the Criminals in our culture.

Oh right…HipHop vs. America.

7:18 - DL Hughley tells us that Jeezy is one of the most exciting rappers to come along in a long time and Jeezy shows us by appearing on stage without so much as a fuckin DJ. Flames and a big screen? Check. Some source for the music? Even a DJ as a prop? Naaaaah.

Apparently Jeezy is too big for HipHop Rule #5: EVERYONE sounds better with a live band.

Cue Kanye who I forgot was on this song. Shows you how much I listen to the radio. Sadly…The best verse is pretty much blanked out. Come on Kanye toda…surely you can clean up the verses for the chirren.

7:23 - Kevin Hart (whose claim to fame is….drumroll…Soul Plane. A Movie so bad even DL Hughley apologized for it.) and Mel B. (who IS fine, just not fine enough to overcome A. Being a Spice Girl and B. getting knocked up by Eddie Murphy only to lose him to the Former Mrs. Babyface(who went on to lose him to Johnny Gill…the Lesson? If Being fine and making a baby can’t keep a man, just being fine wont keep him either…especially if he likes OTHER MEN.)) present…well I still don’t know yet..they are STILL bantering.

Best Male Athlete.(Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Chris Paul, Tiger Woods)

Okay wait. I LOVE Chris Paul but, COME ON NOW…BEST MALE ATHLETE? He aint even the best BASKETBALL PLAYER LISTED…yet.

Tiger ain’t gonna win cause you know Tiger ain’t there. I know Kobe ain’t there cause he is off getting his Tony Romo on with Mrs. Bryant. (cause Kobe has the good sense to lose in the playoffs THEN go on vacation to Cabo).

Kobe wins. Kevin Garnett Paul Pierce and Ray Allen feel cheated…but only for a second.

Mel and her headlights show Kevin Hart the way back to obscurity.

Um..i don’t know WHO these two are pimpin that whole viewers choice thingy.

Target tries to help Usher sell records. Or tries to help remind Black women to buy records at Target while they buy their towels.

Pizza Hut sells Calzones to black people with only one black dude in the commercial.

Southwest Airlines tells you that the only thing worse than getting your Black Girlfriend’s hair wet is damaging some random Black Man’s classic Mustang.

Post shows you that regular lack folk make cereal for them.

Eddie Murphy has a movie. It’s only PG so it might be funny. Uh oh…Kevin Hart sighting…the movie is doomed.

T-Mobile thinks that Black people know who the Hatfields and McCoys are. Props to them.

O.B. sells tampons…with cartoon ants.

Baldwin Hills is back…and it’s still painful to watch.

I think DL Hughley changed his clothes, but I wasn’t paying attention.

7:31 – Keyshia Cole is singing a song I don’t know from way up in the air only to descend into a puff of smoke. with no band wearing a shredded bed spread..which gets pulled off in exchange for go go boots and shorts.

Yup…she could still get it…

Lil Kim…not so much. You know you are short when Keyshia Cole towers over you. Apparently Missy Elliot is busy.

I kinda wish Keyshia had lip synced.

7:36 - Now we see MC Lyte Read. Toni Braxton wonders if Lyte can afford to pay royalties to her for jacking her 1992 hair game.

Oh look…a Boyz in the hood reunion. Cuba, Cuba Cuba….sigh.

Best Female HipHop Artist (Missy Elliot, Eve, Kid Sister, Lil Mama, Trina)

Wow, Missy’s album isn’t even out yet…Eve dropped a hot single (or two) and was rewarded with a postponement of HER album…Kid Sister is on the periphery of HipHop at BEST(although the video is rather intriguing)..Lil Mama is fighting off one hit wonder status with all she’s got and Trina is currently best known for being the woman who broke up Lil Wayne’s marriage…We should just give this to Lyte, Rah Digga and Jean Grae and K.I.M.

Missy won, but she’s too busy finishing the album she won this award for to attend.

Hancock is coming out soon. Mr. Independence day strikes again. Hard to imagine this being another Wild Wild West.

Subway and Get Smart….hard to get whiter than that.

Chrysler is still selling that mini truck.

AT&T sells black people a cool phone with a commercial they obviously made for use during the Hills.

Two people I don’t recognize tease a show called Somebodies…BET’s first scripted show. 28 years later…I can smell it already.

Baldwin Hills again. Sigh.

DL Hughley rushes through crap written for him to get to a reasonably funny joke that fails because he mangled the lead (Ne-Yo has been with more fine Black Women than Robert DeNiro )…proving again why he is the only King of Comedy without a regular gig.

Ne-Yo gives the performance Usher SHOULD have given.Here is a hint for all yall Michael Jackson wannabes. If you run around and dance for us…we will allow you to sound kinda out of breath. We aren’t that wack.

Ne-Yo gets WAY out front on performance of the night. Shame BET wouldn’t spring for any of these folk to bring out a band. So sad.

LL Cool J leads out Ashanti. LL is so moved by the moment that he didn’t bother to dress up. (BTW…if you haven’t heard LL’s mixtape with Kay Slay…you are missing out)

Ashanti looks like she stole one of Alicia Keys old dresses from the Grammys

Best New Artist (Dream, Estelle, Flo Rida, Chrisette Mchele, Soulja Boy Tellem)

The Dream wins. He didn’t bother showing up because he was so sure Soulja Boy was gonna win.

Ashanti can’t even walk in her heels.

Diet Pepsi Max revives their Grammy Commercial.

Nissan shows Chrysler how to build a car for 2008. If you are too embarrassed to mention the gas mileage…you ain’t got the right car.

Back comes the creepy Verizon wireless commercial.

Pizza Hut and their Calzone.

Roscoe Jenkins is now on DVD, for all y’all bougie mofos too good for bootlegs.

State Farm puts out a decent commercial for Black Folk, reminding me to include them in my hunt for Life/Car insurance.

O.B. again.

Cadillac sells Black folk the Escalade Hybrid. 50% more efficient in the city…which means instead of TWELVE miles a gallon…you’ll get EIGHTEEN MPG. Yeah…that will show those greedy Oil Companies.

Baldwin Hills gets more irritating with each promo.

Yes, I will be watching HipHop vs. America II so you won’t have to.

7:54 – DL Hughley points out Queen Latifah, who clearly doesn’t have anything to plug, or else she would be ON the show. Diddy and mini-him. Then comes Alicia Keys.

Alicia Keys brought her curves and her band and her back up singers dancers. We are grateful. Greens and Cornbread clearly agree with Miss Keys.

Alicia has been in the sun lately. Quincy Jones nods in approval.

Alicia summons the spirits of SWV and gets me weak in the knees, stealing best performance from Ne-Yo.

Then comes EnVogue all of whom are STILL fine. Let us pause for a moment of silence.

Then comes T and C (L rest in peace)…T-Boz is hoarse and Chili is still Fine.

Then comes the reunion. What do we notice…that SWV sold the fewest records but have eaten the best.

8:02 - We love Neicy Nash. Fuck what you’ve heard. I love Neicy Nash so much I will watch the Style network to see her sans Reno 911 butt pad.

What passes for Comedy on BET ensues, but her delivery was on point and she’s Neicy Nash, so +100 for her. (silly me thought she was ACTUALLY trying to encourage the adoption of African-American children, but why would anyone let a critical issue in the Black Community get in the way of a good joke?)

Best Male HipHop Artist – Common, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West)

David Paterson can see this one coming. If Kanye had any integrity…yup…he does..he brings up Wayne. If only he had handed over the trophy. No such luck.

The Cast of Baldwin Hills proves they can read. Still can’t act. But they can read.

Tide sells Detergent with White-Tees, Drew from Everybody hates Chris and MC Lyte on the voice over.

McDonald’s sells Big Macs with HipHop.

Wanted is coming out Friday. Hello DVD.

Toyota shows Chrysler how to sell cars to Black folk.

Baldwin Hills STILL sucks.

Ciroc Ultra Premium Vodka is pandering to Black folk.

Hell Date season Two…as if you didn’t know THAT was coming.

Wyclef Jean sells Voting in the US while wearing a Poland soccer Jacket.

BET’s American Gangster season two is STILL on DVD, in case you missed it an hour ago.

8:10 T-Pain is on stage with all kinds of props. Singing some random song that might be on his album…His lil magic Mic is working well. Noooo..hes Lipsynching.

We are regaled with all the hits Teddy Pinherass down has Sung um…. On.

Flo-Rida

Rick Ross

DJ Khaled

Big Boi wasn’t about to lip synch his verse.

Neither was Ludacris.

Let the record show that BET couldn’t be bothered to silence the N-Word.

8:17 - Derek Luke and Gabrielle Union don’t do the bad BET writing bit any better.

Video of the Year (Ashanti – The way that you love me, E. Badu – Honey, Mary J. Blige, Just Fine, Alicia Keys – Like you’ll Never See Me again, UGK n Outkast – Players Anthem, Kanye West, Good Life)

UGK wins, giving us a chance to hear from one of the smartest Rappers in the industry, Bun B.

I see Pimp C. had a wife…there is a certain irony in that just tickles me.

Big Boi doesn’t miss a chance to plug his solo project.

Target shows Black people they are classier than Walmart.

Ford makes better cars than they used to.

KFC has chipotle flavored Chicken. Seriously.

Ice Cube is STILL making kid movies. This one should be Called Akeelah and the Skinny Post. Apparently they are still trying to get the movie down to a PG rating, because it isn’t rated yet.

Lincolns are fly….even if they are gussied up Fords.

Baldwin Hills STILL sucks.

(dudes are calling women scrapes? SERIOUSLY?)

8:28 – DL Hughley just introduced Marvin Sapp as the man with the most recognizable Warren Sapp. Ima need a few minutes. *pauses the recording*

10 minutes later…

Ladies and gentlemen…the best singers still sing for Jesus. And OFCOURSE HE has a band (complete with string section)AND a choir.

8:31 cue the obligatory shot of Kirk Franklin.

8:32 so…FOUR minutes into the performance…I notice that there has been a slide show behind him…showing singular moments in our history, culminating with a shot of the Obamas in Iowa on June 6. The show SHOULD be ending right here…but this IS BET after all…and the notion of any kind of perspective is just anathema to them…so let the fuckery commence as soon as this is over.

8:34 and DL Hughley is apologizing.

8:35…Mary Mary and Lisa Lisa…I guess Mister Mister was busy.

Best Gospel Artist - The Clark Sisters, Kirk Franklin, Deitrick Haddon, Marvin Sapp, Trinitee 5:7

Marvin Sapp wins just for showing up and singing. Now someone get him back to humanity.

Dr. Ian Smith wants yall to lose weight.

Only white kids wear Pull-Ups but buy them anyway.

Go see wanted because Common is in it.

Wendy’s makes milkshakes.

What’s the best way to sell a sleek new Cadillac? White women talking bougie.

Baldwin sucks more now than it did an hour ago.

I still don’t know who this guy is BET gave a show to.

BET tells you why you should vote.

Baldwin Hills sucks but Buy the 1^st season on DVD, cause nothing eases the sucking like adding scenes that sucked so bad that it intensified the sucking to levels BET couldn’t tolerate.

HipHop vs. America II is coming on tomorrow.

8:43 – See, Ursh? Even Chris Brown is Singing…you know you dun Effed up, right?

Whoaaa….Easy with the gyrations Chris…Youll never get on Nickelodeon like that.

The shower in the back ground showed me that it was Ciara, cause my old ass wasn’t sure.

8:47 David Banner Brandon T. Jackson, Solange, Soulja Boy Tellem and Cassie represent Generation Now, even though NONE of them have had a hit in this calendar year. (no, Yaaah Bitch Yaaaah, doesn’t count as a HIT.) I had to look up Brandon T. Jackson to learn that he has a show on the N network…which I am sure I get, but I don’t know where it is.

What passes for a public Service Announcement happens.

Best Collaboration – T Pain and, TPain and, TPain and, TPain and, Keyshia Cole and Kim and Missy

Kanye and TPain win. But not before David Banner plugs HIS new album. TPain comes up in slow motion. Kanye says we should be blessed to be in TPain’s presence. This from the same cat who said Soulja Boy Tellem was on some Nas level. Kanye ya Killin me.

I wonder if David Banner knows that Nas’ album drops on the same day as his? The rest of the world knows…because Def Jam paid good money to advertise.

The recycled Pepsi Commercial with Justin Timberlake is back

So is the Pizza Hut Calzone commercial.

The Eddie Murphy movie looks funny, (it is 3am right now…so take that for what it’s worth)

Verizon sells black folk smart phones by showing a white man texting on a Black mans phone.

Lincoln sells Cars with classy innuendo. The Irony is totally lost on all parties involved.

Southwest sells flying to Black folk by showing uncomfortable white folk.

Crest shows you Black girls with pretty teeth.

Hell Date blah blah blah.

Baldwin Hills.

8:57 - John Legend gets a free plug while introducing Al Green.

John Legend misses the easiest Joke in the world by leaving out the most logical end to this comparison: Says

Al Green is Gospel He is Soul he is Rock and roll he is Collard Greens Cornbread Spades and Church Fans. But MOST OF ALL….he is Hot Grits.

Take notes chirren…see if you can learn something from this.

(and WHERE IS OUR AL GREEN BIO PIC?)

On comes Jill Scott to serenade us with an Al Green Song

No one lives Jilly from Philly like Inkognegro…but…isn’t there a certain irony in the stereotypical strong black woman singing Rev. Grits Green? Sorry…this is BET. The people who brought us Yolanda Adams singing Chaka Khan’s Sweet thing. They are impervious to Irony.

Let us bring on the man who will PLAY Al Green in the BIO PIC he deserves…Anthony Hamilton, who has finally sold enough records to not look homeless.

Uh…Maxwell steps in out of ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKIN WHERE AND KILLS simply beautiful. I think women all over southern California melted into a pool of bodily fluids and perfume.

Maybe NOW we can get another fuckin album dammit.

Ill even forgive him for the sneakers.

This is why I even bother with this damn show.

Shout out to Donna Richardson – Joyner (Ill never admit that wack yellow dude scored my favorite fitness diva)

Al sounds like he passed his speechwriters on to Chris Brown.

Then they let him sing.

But not from off his NEW album….only the young folk can plug their new shit.

Let’s stay together….and let us see random black celebrities mug for the camera.

The only thing this segment is missing is the Obamas.

So…here.

And yes…the ENTIRE crowd knows the words.

Al Green takes it to the Gutter…err Pulpit…errrr…somewhere familiar to ALL of us.

He proceeds to RIP Love and Happiness.

There is a certain poetic quality to this moment. Which BET is about to fuck up by not allowing HIM to close the show. Cause we got more Fuckery to go.

Why close the show with history…when we got Lil Wayne in the house.

Only BET would let Wayne upstage Al Green. Like he can Possibly TOUCH Reverend Albert Green.

Now I am irritated.

Alicia Keys hands over the Inkognegro Best Performance award without protest.

Target reminds Black people that Target is cooler than Wal-Mart.

Nissan reminds GM, Ford and Chrysler why they are hemmoraging money.

Go see HellBoy II even if you didn’t see HellBoy I.

Yup…Its true….KFC has Smoky Chipotle Crispy Chicken.

There is that anonymous cat with the show on BET. I think I make more than he is getting for this show that I refuse to name OR Google.

Fuck Baldwin Hills. (the show…not the place)

HipHop vs. America II blah blah blah.

Wyclef says BET says vote for Obama…REALLY subtly.

This shit is STILL on 2 and a half hours later.

Terrence Rocsi and some random dude present the Viewers choice award

Chris Brown and whatshisname – Kiss Kiss

Keyshia Cole and her and her – Let it Go

Alicia Keys – No One

Soulja Boy Tellem – Crank Dat

Lil Wayne feat some other dude I aint even know was on the song- Lollipop

Jordin Sparks and the dancing fella – No Air

Wayne gets his award and brings his family….or is that ALL of New Orleans with him.

9:30 - DL Hughley tells a Young Buck joke.

9:32 Rihanna has the unfortunate task of following Albert Green. That no one smacks the shit out of whomever thought this would be a good idea is a travesty of Robert Kelly verdict proportions.

Hey Ursh…EVEN SHE is singing. And better than usual.

And Jay-Z knew better than to send her out there bandless.

Number of obligatory Chris Brown shots during this song:

Other awards.

Best Group – UGK. Nothing like death to get you a posthumous award.

Best Video Director – Erykah Badu and Chris Robinson (Honey). But not best Video? THAT makes sense.

Best Actress – Halle Berry – did she even HAVE a movie last year?

Best Actor – Denzel Washington – DUH.

BETJ award – Raheem Devaughn. But…he aint even JAZZ?

GM talks about 0% financing….ill let that joke tell itself.

Will Smith’s kid sells McDonald’s

Verizon has the white dude texting with the black dudes phone. And then smackin the Black dude’s hand off. On BET…seriously.

The Lizard and Naomi Campbell sell that drink I remember.

Cartoon Ants and Tampons from O.B .

White folk and Garnier Fructis…can black folk EVEN USE that shampoo?

Disney tells black folk to go see Wall-E on Friday

Chrysler is STILL shilling that truck.

Hell Date….still.

Diddy and his BET Awards After Party by Ciroc ultra premium vodka.

Debra Lee comes out for her yearly appearance…and the words I am sorry don’t cross her lips ONCE. Aaron McGruder shakes his head in sadness.

She introduces Quincy Jones for the Humanitarian award. Cause NO ONE has done more for Humans this year than Quincy Jones. That was snarky. But the lionization of celebrity in our culture deserves some snark.

Congratulations, Mr. Jones.

Queen Latifah introduces Quincy Jones.

Quincy Jones says thank you. It takes a while…but he does say thank you.

Eventually.

Ford tries in Vain to keep up with Nissan and Toyota

White Folk black folk how to use Bounty Towels.

Wanted starts Friday.

Baldwin Hills

Hell Date.

Rap it up.

HipHop vs. America II….in case you didn’t see it the first three times.

Ashanti interrupts DL to talk about some stuff I don’t know ANYTHING about.

Nelly has no shirt on…Jermaine Dupri has a Jacket on…but

Now…um…this is a song about …Jordans. From a man about had a song about Air Force Ones…

Cause we ALL know what we need now is a song about Tennis shoes.

Universal must have REALLY ponied up to get Rihanna, Nelly and Wayne to close the show.

I guess Nelly knows this is his last shot to make it.

Diddy and Lauren London get their mutual Congratulation on.

Its been a Great year for Black folk.

Obama or die.

Bring out the liquor.

The fuckery is so bad my eyes are starting to glaze over.

Best Female R&B (Mary J. Blige, Keyshia Cole, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Alicia Keys)

Alicia Keys Kills the competition….as if there actually was any.

Clearly, Clive Davis showed Alicia Keys how to give a thank you speech.

10:05 - As we approach Overtime, Lil Waynes performance is teased for the 4,532,676,111^th time.

The white dude shills for a Cadillac truckish vehicle.

Buy Toilet Paper

The really cool and smart State Farm Commercial

Southwest Airlines breaks out the shiv for the other airlines.

Pizza Hut doesn’t want black people to know they serve pasta…just pizza wings and calzones.

That show with the black kids in Southern California.

10:07 - He needs no introduction.

The perfect rapper has to have tattoos, sell a million a week, and be from New Orleans.

That’s what the boy said.

Three halves of a song later…it was over.

So…what did we learn…we learned that the show ended with Reverend Albert Green and then Universal came out to sell records.

Thank you BET.

See ya for the HipHop awards.

Either Nas is a Genius or he just Bob Beamoned the Shark

Frankly, I am not sure which.

Say Hello to Nas’ Be a Nigger, Too.

“My Flow tight as Tootie’s Braces” <—-that’s slick right there. Can’t front on that.

Listen (with your headphones, of course) and let me know what YOU think.

Third time through and I’m not sure if I can endorse this or not.

As art, it’s good stuff.

As political commentary….uhhhhhhhhh.

Alicia Keys is tired of the box the y’all put her in

While a bunch of folk spent this weekend discussing the bitterness of small town folk, the Black Blogosphere got their feeding frenzy on at the expense on the young lady below:

By now you have heard the punchline of the story:

We’ve been talking about Keys’s early jones for the Notorious B.I.G. “My favorite Biggie song is ‘Me & My Bitch,’” she says, licking a stray globule of jam off her finger. “That title doesn’t make you think he’s speaking about the love of his life, but he is. She throws his shit out the window, she flushes his drugs down the toilet—she’s crazy! But if you grew up like that, then you understood, that was love in that world.”

We ask what other gangsta rappers she liked. And that’s when Keys drives a steamroller through the wall.

“‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other,” she says, putting down the sandwich. “‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist.”

Come again? A ploy by whom?

She looks at us like it’s the dumbest question in the world. “The government.”

Sigh. The easy way out is to pounce on Alicia Keys and fit her for a tin-foil hat. More interesting, as usual is the REST of the story.

From reading the WHOLE story you get a glimpse at an artist in evolution.

Alicia Keys has been the 21st century Whitney Houston. A creation of the Clive Davis Arista/J Records hype machine who rode a debut album to that exalted Grammy status first occupied by Lauryn Hill and later by Norah Jones, Beyonce’, and most recently, Amy Winehouse.

She went from random new chick on the block who could sing and play the piano to playing second banana to Scarlett Johannson in the Nanny Diaries and bussin Caps with Common and Ari Gold in Smokin Aces.

Of course, as is the norm with anyone with an abundance of Melanin, talent, and success, there is a certain need for us to pull down that which we were so instrumental in building up (Barack Obama, take note).

I was on the other side, albeit silently when the great Alicia Keys vs. India Arie debate was held back in 2001-2002. I, being the bougie elitist artsy fartsy type that I have been known to be, was bitter towards the astounding success of Ms. Keys and felt that India Arie was being slighted.

In time, I have learned to save my slings and arrows for THEY (yes, the mysterious They; it always seems to be about them)…and not Ms. Keys (or Beyonce…or anyone else getting more shine than I feel they deserve) and she has grown on me. Each album has been an improvement over the last and I find her down to earth nature refreshing.

I don’t think she REALLY believes that the government created gangsta rap as a ploy to get Black folk to kill each other. (The government would  NEVER be complicit in the death of its own citizens…ESPECIALLY the ones of color*blink*)

What I DO think is that Alicia has gotten too close to the blinding light of overexposure and she now sees how the game has been played.

She wants to step out of her comfort zone and enter the next stage of her career.

She wants to do her “What’s Goin On“

While this was an awkward place and way to explain her evolution, It is an evolution that we should all applaud.

What surprised me most was the fact that she asserts that Go Ahead was actually about President Bush and not about some dude.

Seriously.

Sounds different when you look at it that way, huh.

I’ll take stuff BET should be showing for 200, Alex.

The embed ain’t workin and I don’t feel like foolin with it

Talib Kweli - Hostile Gospel Pt 1.

Freedom’s a road that’s seldom traveled, watch hell unravel
Right before the eyes of the soldier who fell in battle
The single mother who raised her daughter to bear the sacred water
And not take the hand of every man who make a offer
To black kids wishin they white kids, when they close they eyelids
Like, “I bet they neighborhood ain’t like this”
White kids wishin they black kids, and wanna talk like rappers
It’s all backwards it’s identity crisis
The industry inside us is vipers with fangs trying to bite us
Drug suppliers is the health care providers
We cakin, makin narcotics outta household products
We ain’t workin out ’til we exorcise the demons that’s inside us
Plus they seem to just provide us with enough rope to hang ourselves
Enough dope to slang ourselves, enough toast to bang ourselves
It’s officially nigga season, these niggaz is bleedin
That’s why I’m spittin freedom we had enough of trigger squeezin

HipHop for Grownups #1 Hero

Once upon a time, I used to write Press Releases for a living.

It was a thankless job, attempting to write words to right wrongs and setting up the most mundane events to be can’t miss engagements.

Now that I am some hotshot Blogger (Sarcasm set to maximum levels) Every now and then I will get press releases and music about new HipHop artists on the verge.   Being a GAM (Grown Assed Man) and all, some of the stuff just leaves me sorta

Enter The following Press Release

E-DOT AND DARP MALONE ARE HERO

GROUP’S DEBUT FULL-LENGTH EFFORT TO BE RELEASED ON MARCH 25th, 2008

HERO: “A legendary figure endowed with great strength or ability; who commits an act of remarkable bravery or who has shown an admirable quality such as great courage or strength of character; the central figures of a movement.”

The “movement” in this case is to push the boundaries of the music we know and love. 

HERO gives us two such legendary figures. Introducing artist/producer extraordinaire Darp Malone and the incredible word-smith E-Dot (who has previously worked with Mr. Complex, The Chapter, Loer Velocity and released singles on Ill Bill’s Uncle Howie Records). These two long time collaborators have finally combined their efforts on a full-fledged scale to create a sound that is nothing short of amazing. HERO’s music is honest and passionate, so wonderfully sincere and effortless.

 

They have no capes or pantyhose, just soulful ballads and aggressive compositions. Somehow HERO manages to easily combine substance and intricate wordplay with moving melodies and catchy refrains.

Together as HERO, E-Dot and Darp Malone’s music utterly transcends time without the abuse of trends and propaganda. Upon first listen one comes to realize that the future is upon us. The time is now, and they are here. Embrace them, witness the conquest; and don’t take them for granted.

Yeah, I know…pretty heady stuff.  But it is a Press Release, after all.  The proof is in the pudding.

Here is your pudding

Personally, Im intrigued.  Someone needs to speak for GAM rap.  Why not these Cats?

And if you wanna Download it….I got it here legit. 

Mr. and Mrs. Nasir Jones, Lemme Holla @ Y’all for a Min.

First off, The T-shirt doesn’t bother me. The name of the album doesn’t bother me, much.

I wasn’t always a fan of yours. I liked your music, but I never did care much for you back in the Illmatic days. You reminded me of those kids I grew up with who were far more witty and creative than me, the universally acclaimed class nerd, but didn’t see the value in translating that genius to the actual work in school.

Your career is one long collection of shouldacouldawoulda. I could go into details, but I will let your boy, Mr. Carter summarize your career circa 2002

You said you been in this ten
I’ve been in it five - smarten up Nas
Four albums in ten years nigga? I could divide
That’s one every let’s say two, two of them shits was due
One was - NAHHH, the other was “Illmatic”
That’s a one hot album every ten year average

Yes, somewhere along the way you finally grew up and started making albums more indicative of your extensive verbal talents. And for that, Mrs. Jones, I actually thank you for slowin Nas down. Your entrance into his life has done WONDERS for his legacy.

But for real though, Nas. Ima need you to hit the books and the newspaper and stop relying on your inbox for all your news.

But Instead, of Beating you down, I’ma lift you up Nas, because lately you have really stepped your game up.

I choose to focus on THIS Nas instead:

Rock the Library Card before you Rock the Vote, Nas.

One.

Mixtape Saturday Vol. 1

For my first installment of Mixtape Saturday, I give you

Graduation the Musical

Kanye West rmx by Stanley Logan

Click here to Listen 

My comments:  It is a bit on the choppy side, but just to hear extended versions of the samples Kanye Used and how he interpolated those songs into new songs is worth the listen.

and then there is #10 - All Falls Down Spoken word and acoustic which is by far the highlight.

Happy Belated Birthday James T. Smith

My favorite Raven fan dropped a post announcing that LL turned 40 on January 14.

He linked some videos and it occured to me. Those were probably my least favorite LL songs.

After a brief discussion, I decided to put my LL Discography to good use. I am going to drop my first podcast/mixtape/collection of songs before the end of the month. IF any of yall folk got recommendations for audio programs that I can use, let me know.

Good looking out, T.

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