Posted: February 9, 2009 | Author: inkognegro | Filed under: Grammys, Hip-Hop, Music |
*Doesn’t Justin Timberlake owe Al Green money? He should be paying Al Green royalties.
*Can we get Duffy and Al Green to actually record Bridge over troubled Water?
*Either Whitney is still on that ish…or she did a LOT of that ish before and its still wreaking havoc on her brain. That said…she looks about as healthy as I’ve seen her in a MINUTE.
*Is it safe to say that the only way dude got close enough to Jennifer Hudson to potentially wife
her is because he was on I Love NY before? At the risk of minding folk’s business I am inclined to hope he runs into either Al Reynolds or Jonathan Plummer BEFORE the ceremony and not after.
*I don’t ever want to hear ANYONE sing Sweet Home Alabama, especially not a former Rapper.
*Putting aside for a moment that the Jonas Brothers are woefully inadequate live performers, it is patently incorrect to say that Stevie Wonder backed them up. They backed Stevie Wonder up.
*I am about as bored by this performance as I can be by a bunch of women dancing around giant fruit.
*Kanye West has TEN grammys already?
*It’s a good thing my wife is pregnant. It makes holding this irrational Torch for Estelle much easier to bear.
*Adele bears a striking resemblance to the John Travolta character in Hairspray.
*I don’t know who is getting older faster, Morgan Freeman or Denzel Washington. Miss Daisy’s driver, you are too damn old to be pulling stunts like you just pulled. Sityoass down somewhere, please.
*Didn’t Natalie Cole say something rather unfortunate rather recently?
*Is MIA pregnant?
*Why do I feel compelled to DVR CSI: Miami just to see if Puffy has gotten any better as an actor?
*Getting these four cats to tour together could End the Recession.
*Its always funny to see how Kanye works REALLY hard on verses he has with Rappers he views as lyrically superior.
*Why didn’t they put MIA in a Gown to match up with the rest of the damn set? That said, props to her for taking time out from her scheduled labor inducement to lend authenticity to the hook, I think.
*Why is Wayne’s verse more intelligible LIVE than in the recording?
*This is probably the only way MIA’s child is ever going to get on the Grammy Stage.
*The ONLY reason I didn’t FF through Sir Paul is because he opened with a Beatles’ song.
*Random related Sidebar: Apparently Steelers RB Willie Parker hadn’t heard of Bruce Springsteen until the Super Bowl. This is completely plausible. Willie is 10 yrs younger than I am and I remember Bruce Springsteen when I was 14. Willie was 4 then. It ain’t Bruce has been hot in the Streets SINCE then.
*Jay Mohr is fat. That is all.
*There is a certain giddiness that sets in when I see a full marching band drumline backing up a rock band. Thank you Radiohead.
*Um…Looks like Samuel L. Jackson wants to get in on that rapidly aging Black man race too.
*I would like to reiterate (again) that all rappers MUST be backed by live bands in order to be taken seriously by the author.
*Would TI have grown up so quickly if he hadn’t caught that case? Makes you wonder.
*Adversity builds Character. Character will take you places that money can’t. Why isn’t stuff like THIS played on Black radio every 8 minutes. Instead we get. “Whatever you Like”
*The President of the Grammys annoys me as he has for the last 4 years or so. At least he isn’t bitching about downloading music this year.
*I support a Cabinet level position of Secretary of the Arts.
*Jamie Foxx is a HUGE fool (in a good way, mostly) but when he isn’t dropping random watered down pop music for Black women, he is an incredible musical talent.
*Neil Diamond, everybody. Yay.
*There is a Vibe Magazine sitting on the floor of my car ONLY because I keep meaning to read the article about Static Major.
*There is a certain irony in having Gary Sinese intro Lil Wayne when Gary and Former President George W. Bush are purty tight.
* I do appreciate Wayne leaving aside the Styrofoam cup for tonight and I am still astounded at how much more intelligible Wayne is live than he is in recordings.
*And I am officially going to stop posting and dance with my dog throughout the living room.
* and yes, Wayne is as much of a descendant of the NO music scene as anyone with the last name Marsalis, even as it pains me to say so.
*And now for the yearly appearance of the Lil Wayne Family.
* Ima go ahead and add Robert Plant and Allison Krauss to my list of stuff I should appreciate, but don’t.
*Do people who don’t listen to rap understand what rappers say when they perform live?
Thanks for coming by. See ya for the Oscars.
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Posted: June 25, 2008 | Author: inkognegro | Filed under: Al Green, Alicia Keys, Barack Obama, BET Awards Recap, Black History Month, Black Love Day, Bob Johnson, Boondocks, Campaign 2008, Choir, Common, D.L. Hughley, Doug E. Fresh, Eddie Murphy, Floyd Mayweather, Gospel, Grammys, Hip-Hop, Inkognegro, Iron Man, Jay-Z, Jazz, Jill Scott, John Legend, Johnny Gill, Kanye West, LL Cool J, Love, Michelle Obama, Music, Music Videos, Nas, Obama, Quincy Jones, R&B, R. Kelly, Race, Real Talk, Rihanna, Snoop Dogg, Super Bowl, The N-Word, The Roots, Videos, Women, Yes We Can |
Warning: this post weighs in at just under FOUR THOUSAND WORDS. There will be an abridged Version posted tonight for those of you allergic to posts of that level. Proceed with caution. the jokes flow in bunches, even if all of them aren’t funny.
- Powered by Mountain Dew Voltage(blue colored raspberry-citrus and ginseng flavored) my wife’s Hooters leftovers, and Fort Worth’s finest tap water.
And so it is, June 24, 2008 and it is time for another illuminating snapshot in Black History.
Yeah, folk, hate all you like, the BET awards are a snapshot in time for where the culture of our people is in 2008.
I am not endorsing this snapshot, I am merely putting it on display.
A fact that my wife just reminded me is an astounding misuse of my God-given ability.
7:00pm – The show opens with one of the many young men who should be paying royalties to Michael Jackson, one Usher Raymond Foster.
Who is apparently getting to the stage in his life where he is too old to be putting out club bangers and has been off the scene (getting his Broadway on, but still) long enough that he looks like he is biting Chris Brown and Ne-yo (who, as I stated earlier, are all biting Michael Jackson.
Speaking of Broadway, I am a bit annoyed that such an accomplished performer as Mr. Raymond is SHAMELESSLY lip-synching. As the elder statesman for male R&B singers, I find this most unacceptable. Surely he could slide in and and do a classic Usher Run or two…but, alas, no.
Michael Jackson is not going to be pleased.
MC Lyte is still doing voice work for BET.
What did I learn from all the names…That SouljaBoy’s last name is Tellem. (Tellem what?)
DL Hughley, (who clearly is the least busy of the Kings of Comedy these days) is the host this year and pretty much came out and proved why he is the ONLY King of Comedy who is ONLY collecting residuals from his show.
7:11 – Jennifer Hudson and Terence Howard prove that having Oscar Nominations won’t prevent awkward and unentertaining banter
Best Male R&B artist: Chris Brown, Raheem Devaughn, J. Holiday, Ne-Yo, Trey Songz .
Chris Brown wins and reminds us that his people skipped past the whole speech making part of artist development. Berry Gordy is mumbling about folk not learning anything from the Motown years.
The hierarchy is: Label, managers, momma, God…and then a promotion of the fans to number one.
Chrysler tries to sell us vehicles that just don’t fit in the modern $4 dollar a gallon economy. But LOTS of cool Gadgets.
Pepsi dusts off an old Super Bowl Commercial with Justin Timberlake. Apparently they don’t have anyone Black on the endorsement list.
Verizon breaks out a good random commercial.
Dreamworks highlights a movie with Iron man playing a brother. Apparently the irony is lost on them.
Hell Date is up for season number 2.
American Gangster season 2 is on DVD. Cause you don’t know nearly enough about the Criminals in our culture.
Oh right…HipHop vs. America.
7:18 – DL Hughley tells us that Jeezy is one of the most exciting rappers to come along in a long time and Jeezy shows us by appearing on stage without so much as a fuckin DJ. Flames and a big screen? Check. Some source for the music? Even a DJ as a prop? Naaaaah.
Apparently Jeezy is too big for HipHop Rule #5: EVERYONE sounds better with a live band.
Cue Kanye who I forgot was on this song. Shows you how much I listen to the radio. Sadly…The best verse is pretty much blanked out. Come on Kanye toda…surely you can clean up the verses for the chirren.
7:23 – Kevin Hart (whose claim to fame is….drumroll…Soul Plane. A Movie so bad even DL Hughley apologized for it.) and Mel B. (who IS fine, just not fine enough to overcome A. Being a Spice Girl and B. getting knocked up by Eddie Murphy only to lose him to the Former Mrs. Babyface(who went on to lose him to Johnny Gill…the Lesson? If Being fine and making a baby can’t keep a man, just being fine wont keep him either…especially if he likes OTHER MEN.)) present…well I still don’t know yet..they are STILL bantering.
Best Male Athlete.(Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Chris Paul, Tiger Woods)
Okay wait. I LOVE Chris Paul but, COME ON NOW…BEST MALE ATHLETE? He aint even the best BASKETBALL PLAYER LISTED…yet.
Tiger ain’t gonna win cause you know Tiger ain’t there. I know Kobe ain’t there cause he is off getting his Tony Romo on with Mrs. Bryant. (cause Kobe has the good sense to lose in the playoffs THEN go on vacation to Cabo).
Kobe wins. Kevin Garnett Paul Pierce and Ray Allen feel cheated…but only for a second.
Mel and her headlights show Kevin Hart the way back to obscurity.
Um..i don’t know WHO these two are pimpin that whole viewers choice thingy.
Target tries to help Usher sell records. Or tries to help remind Black women to buy records at Target while they buy their towels.
Pizza Hut sells Calzones to black people with only one black dude in the commercial.
Southwest Airlines tells you that the only thing worse than getting your Black Girlfriend’s hair wet is damaging some random Black Man’s classic Mustang.
Post shows you that regular lack folk make cereal for them.
Eddie Murphy has a movie. It’s only PG so it might be funny. Uh oh…Kevin Hart sighting…the movie is doomed.
T-Mobile thinks that Black people know who the Hatfields and McCoys are. Props to them.
O.B. sells tampons…with cartoon ants.
Baldwin Hills is back…and it’s still painful to watch.
I think DL Hughley changed his clothes, but I wasn’t paying attention.
7:31 – Keyshia Cole is singing a song I don’t know from way up in the air only to descend into a puff of smoke. with no band wearing a shredded bed spread..which gets pulled off in exchange for go go boots and shorts.
Yup…she could still get it…
Lil Kim…not so much. You know you are short when Keyshia Cole towers over you. Apparently Missy Elliot is busy.
I kinda wish Keyshia had lip synced.
7:36 – Now we see MC Lyte Read. Toni Braxton wonders if Lyte can afford to pay royalties to her for jacking her 1992 hair game.
Oh look…a Boyz in the hood reunion. Cuba, Cuba Cuba….sigh.
Best Female HipHop Artist (Missy Elliot, Eve, Kid Sister, Lil Mama, Trina)
Wow, Missy’s album isn’t even out yet…Eve dropped a hot single (or two) and was rewarded with a postponement of HER album…Kid Sister is on the periphery of HipHop at BEST(although the video is rather intriguing)..Lil Mama is fighting off one hit wonder status with all she’s got and Trina is currently best known for being the woman who broke up Lil Wayne’s marriage…We should just give this to Lyte, Rah Digga and Jean Grae and K.I.M.
Missy won, but she’s too busy finishing the album she won this award for to attend.
Hancock is coming out soon. Mr. Independence day strikes again. Hard to imagine this being another Wild Wild West.
Subway and Get Smart….hard to get whiter than that.
Chrysler is still selling that mini truck.
AT&T sells black people a cool phone with a commercial they obviously made for use during the Hills.
Two people I don’t recognize tease a show called Somebodies…BET’s first scripted show. 28 years later…I can smell it already.
Baldwin Hills again. Sigh.
DL Hughley rushes through crap written for him to get to a reasonably funny joke that fails because he mangled the lead (Ne-Yo has been with more fine Black Women than Robert DeNiro )…proving again why he is the only King of Comedy without a regular gig.
Ne-Yo gives the performance Usher SHOULD have given.Here is a hint for all yall Michael Jackson wannabes. If you run around and dance for us…we will allow you to sound kinda out of breath. We aren’t that wack.
Ne-Yo gets WAY out front on performance of the night. Shame BET wouldn’t spring for any of these folk to bring out a band. So sad.
LL Cool J leads out Ashanti. LL is so moved by the moment that he didn’t bother to dress up. (BTW…if you haven’t heard LL’s mixtape with Kay Slay…you are missing out)
Ashanti looks like she stole one of Alicia Keys old dresses from the Grammys
Best New Artist (Dream, Estelle, Flo Rida, Chrisette Mchele, Soulja Boy Tellem)
The Dream wins. He didn’t bother showing up because he was so sure Soulja Boy was gonna win.
Ashanti can’t even walk in her heels.
Diet Pepsi Max revives their Grammy Commercial.
Nissan shows Chrysler how to build a car for 2008. If you are too embarrassed to mention the gas mileage…you ain’t got the right car.
Back comes the creepy Verizon wireless commercial.
Pizza Hut and their Calzone.
Roscoe Jenkins is now on DVD, for all y’all bougie mofos too good for bootlegs.
State Farm puts out a decent commercial for Black Folk, reminding me to include them in my hunt for Life/Car insurance.
O.B. again.
Cadillac sells Black folk the Escalade Hybrid. 50% more efficient in the city…which means instead of TWELVE miles a gallon…you’ll get EIGHTEEN MPG. Yeah…that will show those greedy Oil Companies.
Baldwin Hills gets more irritating with each promo.
Yes, I will be watching HipHop vs. America II so you won’t have to.
7:54 – DL Hughley points out Queen Latifah, who clearly doesn’t have anything to plug, or else she would be ON the show. Diddy and mini-him. Then comes Alicia Keys.
Alicia Keys brought her curves and her band and her back up singers dancers. We are grateful. Greens and Cornbread clearly agree with Miss Keys.
Alicia has been in the sun lately. Quincy Jones nods in approval.
Alicia summons the spirits of SWV and gets me weak in the knees, stealing best performance from Ne-Yo.
Then comes EnVogue all of whom are STILL fine. Let us pause for a moment of silence.
Then comes T and C (L rest in peace)…T-Boz is hoarse and Chili is still Fine.
Then comes the reunion. What do we notice…that SWV sold the fewest records but have eaten the best.
8:02 – We love Neicy Nash. Fuck what you’ve heard. I love Neicy Nash so much I will watch the Style network to see her sans Reno 911 butt pad.
What passes for Comedy on BET ensues, but her delivery was on point and she’s Neicy Nash, so +100 for her. (silly me thought she was ACTUALLY trying to encourage the adoption of African-American children, but why would anyone let a critical issue in the Black Community get in the way of a good joke?)
Best Male HipHop Artist – Common, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West)
David Paterson can see this one coming. If Kanye had any integrity…yup…he does..he brings up Wayne. If only he had handed over the trophy. No such luck.
The Cast of Baldwin Hills proves they can read. Still can’t act. But they can read.
Tide sells Detergent with White-Tees, Drew from Everybody hates Chris and MC Lyte on the voice over.
McDonald’s sells Big Macs with HipHop.
Wanted is coming out Friday. Hello DVD.
Toyota shows Chrysler how to sell cars to Black folk.
Baldwin Hills STILL sucks.
Ciroc Ultra Premium Vodka is pandering to Black folk.
Hell Date season Two…as if you didn’t know THAT was coming.
Wyclef Jean sells Voting in the US while wearing a Poland soccer Jacket.
BET’s American Gangster season two is STILL on DVD, in case you missed it an hour ago.
8:10 T-Pain is on stage with all kinds of props. Singing some random song that might be on his album…His lil magic Mic is working well. Noooo..hes Lipsynching.
We are regaled with all the hits Teddy Pinherass down has Sung um…. On.
Flo-Rida
Rick Ross
DJ Khaled
Big Boi wasn’t about to lip synch his verse.
Neither was Ludacris.
Let the record show that BET couldn’t be bothered to silence the N-Word.
8:17 – Derek Luke and Gabrielle Union don’t do the bad BET writing bit any better.
Video of the Year (Ashanti – The way that you love me, E. Badu – Honey, Mary J. Blige, Just Fine, Alicia Keys – Like you’ll Never See Me again, UGK n Outkast – Players Anthem, Kanye West, Good Life)
UGK wins, giving us a chance to hear from one of the smartest Rappers in the industry, Bun B.
I see Pimp C. had a wife…there is a certain irony in that just tickles me.
Big Boi doesn’t miss a chance to plug his solo project.
Target shows Black people they are classier than Walmart.
Ford makes better cars than they used to.
KFC has chipotle flavored Chicken. Seriously.
Ice Cube is STILL making kid movies. This one should be Called Akeelah and the Skinny Post. Apparently they are still trying to get the movie down to a PG rating, because it isn’t rated yet.
Lincolns are fly….even if they are gussied up Fords.
Baldwin Hills STILL sucks.
(dudes are calling women scrapes? SERIOUSLY?)
8:28 – DL Hughley just introduced Marvin Sapp as the man with the most recognizable Warren Sapp. Ima need a few minutes. *pauses the recording*
10 minutes later…
Ladies and gentlemen…the best singers still sing for Jesus. And OFCOURSE HE has a band (complete with string section)AND a choir.
8:31 cue the obligatory shot of Kirk Franklin.
8:32 so…FOUR minutes into the performance…I notice that there has been a slide show behind him…showing singular moments in our history, culminating with a shot of the Obamas in Iowa on June 6. The show SHOULD be ending right here…but this IS BET after all…and the notion of any kind of perspective is just anathema to them…so let the fuckery commence as soon as this is over.
8:34 and DL Hughley is apologizing.
8:35…Mary Mary and Lisa Lisa…I guess Mister Mister was busy.
Best Gospel Artist – The Clark Sisters, Kirk Franklin, Deitrick Haddon, Marvin Sapp, Trinitee 5:7
Marvin Sapp wins just for showing up and singing. Now someone get him back to humanity.
Dr. Ian Smith wants yall to lose weight.
Only white kids wear Pull-Ups but buy them anyway.
Go see wanted because Common is in it.
Wendy’s makes milkshakes.
What’s the best way to sell a sleek new Cadillac? White women talking bougie.
Baldwin sucks more now than it did an hour ago.
I still don’t know who this guy is BET gave a show to.
BET tells you why you should vote.
Baldwin Hills sucks but Buy the 1st season on DVD, cause nothing eases the sucking like adding scenes that sucked so bad that it intensified the sucking to levels BET couldn’t tolerate.
HipHop vs. America II is coming on tomorrow.
8:43 – See, Ursh? Even Chris Brown is Singing…you know you dun Effed up, right?
Whoaaa….Easy with the gyrations Chris…Youll never get on Nickelodeon like that.
The shower in the back ground showed me that it was Ciara, cause my old ass wasn’t sure.
8:47 David Banner Brandon T. Jackson, Solange, Soulja Boy Tellem and Cassie represent Generation Now, even though NONE of them have had a hit in this calendar year. (no, Yaaah Bitch Yaaaah, doesn’t count as a HIT.) I had to look up Brandon T. Jackson to learn that he has a show on the N network…which I am sure I get, but I don’t know where it is.
What passes for a public Service Announcement happens.
Best Collaboration – T Pain and, TPain and, TPain and, TPain and, Keyshia Cole and Kim and Missy
Kanye and TPain win. But not before David Banner plugs HIS new album. TPain comes up in slow motion. Kanye says we should be blessed to be in TPain’s presence. This from the same cat who said Soulja Boy Tellem was on some Nas level. Kanye ya Killin me.
I wonder if David Banner knows that Nas’ album drops on the same day as his? The rest of the world knows…because Def Jam paid good money to advertise.
The recycled Pepsi Commercial with Justin Timberlake is back
So is the Pizza Hut Calzone commercial.
The Eddie Murphy movie looks funny, (it is 3am right now…so take that for what it’s worth)
Verizon sells black folk smart phones by showing a white man texting on a Black mans phone.
Lincoln sells Cars with classy innuendo. The Irony is totally lost on all parties involved.
Southwest sells flying to Black folk by showing uncomfortable white folk.
Crest shows you Black girls with pretty teeth.
Hell Date blah blah blah.
Baldwin Hills.
8:57 – John Legend gets a free plug while introducing Al Green.
John Legend misses the easiest Joke in the world by leaving out the most logical end to this comparison: Says
Al Green is Gospel He is Soul he is Rock and roll he is Collard Greens Cornbread Spades and Church Fans. But MOST OF ALL….he is Hot Grits.
Take notes chirren…see if you can learn something from this.
(and WHERE IS OUR AL GREEN BIO PIC?)
On comes Jill Scott to serenade us with an Al Green Song
No one lives Jilly from Philly like Inkognegro…but…isn’t there a certain irony in the stereotypical strong black woman singing Rev. Grits Green? Sorry…this is BET. The people who brought us Yolanda Adams singing Chaka Khan’s Sweet thing. They are impervious to Irony.
Let us bring on the man who will PLAY Al Green in the BIO PIC he deserves…Anthony Hamilton, who has finally sold enough records to not look homeless.
Uh…Maxwell steps in out of ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKIN WHERE AND KILLS simply beautiful. I think women all over southern California melted into a pool of bodily fluids and perfume.
Maybe NOW we can get another fuckin album dammit.
Ill even forgive him for the sneakers.
This is why I even bother with this damn show.
Shout out to Donna Richardson – Joyner (Ill never admit that wack yellow dude scored my favorite fitness diva)
Al sounds like he passed his speechwriters on to Chris Brown.
Then they let him sing.
But not from off his NEW album….only the young folk can plug their new shit.
Let’s stay together….and let us see random black celebrities mug for the camera.
The only thing this segment is missing is the Obamas.
So…here.
And yes…the ENTIRE crowd knows the words.
Al Green takes it to the Gutter…err Pulpit…errrr…somewhere familiar to ALL of us.
He proceeds to RIP Love and Happiness.
There is a certain poetic quality to this moment. Which BET is about to fuck up by not allowing HIM to close the show. Cause we got more Fuckery to go.
Why close the show with history…when we got Lil Wayne in the house.
Only BET would let Wayne upstage Al Green. Like he can Possibly TOUCH Reverend Albert Green.
Now I am irritated.
Alicia Keys hands over the Inkognegro Best Performance award without protest.
Target reminds Black people that Target is cooler than Wal-Mart.
Nissan reminds GM, Ford and Chrysler why they are hemmoraging money.
Go see HellBoy II even if you didn’t see HellBoy I.
Yup…Its true….KFC has Smoky Chipotle Crispy Chicken.
There is that anonymous cat with the show on BET. I think I make more than he is getting for this show that I refuse to name OR Google.
Fuck Baldwin Hills. (the show…not the place)
HipHop vs. America II blah blah blah.
Wyclef says BET says vote for Obama…REALLY subtly.
This shit is STILL on 2 and a half hours later.
Terrence Rocsi and some random dude present the Viewers choice award
Chris Brown and whatshisname – Kiss Kiss
Keyshia Cole and her and her – Let it Go
Alicia Keys – No One
Soulja Boy Tellem – Crank Dat
Lil Wayne feat some other dude I aint even know was on the song- Lollipop
Jordin Sparks and the dancing fella – No Air
Wayne gets his award and brings his family….or is that ALL of New Orleans with him.
9:30 – DL Hughley tells a Young Buck joke.
9:32 Rihanna has the unfortunate task of following Albert Green. That no one smacks the shit out of whomever thought this would be a good idea is a travesty of Robert Kelly verdict proportions.
Hey Ursh…EVEN SHE is singing. And better than usual.
And Jay-Z knew better than to send her out there bandless.
Number of obligatory Chris Brown shots during this song:
Other awards.
Best Group – UGK. Nothing like death to get you a posthumous award.
Best Video Director – Erykah Badu and Chris Robinson (Honey). But not best Video? THAT makes sense.
Best Actress – Halle Berry – did she even HAVE a movie last year?
Best Actor – Denzel Washington – DUH.
BETJ award – Raheem Devaughn. But…he aint even JAZZ?
GM talks about 0% financing….ill let that joke tell itself.
Will Smith’s kid sells McDonald’s
Verizon has the white dude texting with the black dudes phone. And then smackin the Black dude’s hand off. On BET…seriously.
The Lizard and Naomi Campbell sell that drink I remember.
Cartoon Ants and Tampons from O.B .
White folk and Garnier Fructis…can black folk EVEN USE that shampoo?
Disney tells black folk to go see Wall-E on Friday
Chrysler is STILL shilling that truck.
Hell Date….still.
Diddy and his BET Awards After Party by Ciroc ultra premium vodka.
Debra Lee comes out for her yearly appearance…and the words I am sorry don’t cross her lips ONCE. Aaron McGruder shakes his head in sadness.
She introduces Quincy Jones for the Humanitarian award. Cause NO ONE has done more for Humans this year than Quincy Jones. That was snarky. But the lionization of celebrity in our culture deserves some snark.
Congratulations, Mr. Jones.
Queen Latifah introduces Quincy Jones.
Quincy Jones says thank you. It takes a while…but he does say thank you.
Eventually.
Ford tries in Vain to keep up with Nissan and Toyota
White Folk black folk how to use Bounty Towels.
Wanted starts Friday.
Baldwin Hills
Hell Date.
Rap it up.
HipHop vs. America II….in case you didn’t see it the first three times.
Ashanti interrupts DL to talk about some stuff I don’t know ANYTHING about.
Nelly has no shirt on…Jermaine Dupri has a Jacket on…but
Now…um…this is a song about …Jordans. From a man about had a song about Air Force Ones…
Cause we ALL know what we need now is a song about Tennis shoes.
Universal must have REALLY ponied up to get Rihanna, Nelly and Wayne to close the show.
I guess Nelly knows this is his last shot to make it.
Diddy and Lauren London get their mutual Congratulation on.
Its been a Great year for Black folk.
Obama or die.
Bring out the liquor.
The fuckery is so bad my eyes are starting to glaze over.
Best Female R&B (Mary J. Blige, Keyshia Cole, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Alicia Keys)
Alicia Keys Kills the competition….as if there actually was any.
Clearly, Clive Davis showed Alicia Keys how to give a thank you speech.
10:05 – As we approach Overtime, Lil Waynes performance is teased for the 4,532,676,111th time.
The white dude shills for a Cadillac truckish vehicle.
Buy Toilet Paper
The really cool and smart State Farm Commercial
Southwest Airlines breaks out the shiv for the other airlines.
Pizza Hut doesn’t want black people to know they serve pasta…just pizza wings and calzones.
That show with the black kids in Southern California.
10:07 – He needs no introduction.
The perfect rapper has to have tattoos, sell a million a week, and be from New Orleans.
That’s what the boy said.
Three halves of a song later…it was over.
So…what did we learn…we learned that the show ended with Reverend Albert Green and then Universal came out to sell records.
Thank you BET.
See ya for the HipHop awards.
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Posted: February 10, 2008 | Author: inkognegro | Filed under: Amy Winehouse, Bebe Winans, Beyonce Knowles, Dexter, Grammys, Herbie Hancock, Josh Groban, Rihanna, The Beatles, The Time, Tina Turner |
7:00 Frank Sinatra shows us what a Grammy is from the Grave.
Alicia Keys plays with Frank’s Magical Singing.
(I’ve completely gotten over the Grammys giving Alicia 54 Grammys and not giving India Arie even one. Shes grown up so nice.)
I guess we get to forgive Frank for clapping off key, being dead and all.
And that’s a pretty dress, all 105 yards of it.
7:06 Carrie Underwood singing Before He Cheats accompanied by a bunch of folk who have never REALLY played on buckets outside before.
I wonder if Jessica Simpson would trade Tony Romo for a Grammy?
And I’ma Need Carrie to give Christina Aguilera back that run she just made.
7:09 Prince comes out in a red suit to present best Female R&B Vocal.
I’d love to see Chrissette Michelle but Alicia Keys is walking away with this one.
Jill Scott was happy for her, but the dude sittin next to her must have been fired by AKeys once.
Alicia Keys puts a great deal of effot into giving you reasons not to hate her.
7:17 Chalk up a Black History moment for James Harris, III Chairman of the Music Academy for a few moments.
Segue into the first performance of the Time in Fifteen Years.
7:20 in a move that will annoy the piss out of the 30-44 African American demographic, the Time is morphed into a backup Band for a Rihanna A&B selection.
Now it could be me, But it appears that Rihanna is wearing a large bundle of wheat.
And now for a lil piece of Jungle Love, which I believe could have been what Rihanna was conceived to.
And yes, Rihanna is taller than Morris Day, who only hid he fact that he was so short behind the fact that He hung out with Prince.
7:24 Tom Hanks honors the Band with a Lifetime Acheivement award. No songs for them.
Tom Hanks then starts discussing the Beatles, conveniently leaving out the fact that they pretty much robbed old southern Black folk.
Mrs. Ink’s friend mentions that Yoko will probably outlive all the Beatles, and any children or grandchildren they might have..
I do wanna see Cirque du Soleil when I grow up.
I am sure this show is wrought with symbolism and metphors, but I just see a woman flying around hanging from two rings being batted around by pieces of a VW Beetle.
Cue the young Black boy getting his Paul McCartney on. Followed by his auntie/Gramma.
Bring on the Choir dressed in Black.
I believe this was in Across The Universe which I proceed to add on to my netflix.
8:19 Miley Cyrus and Cyndi Lauper present Amy Winehouse with Best New Artist. Nice to see Ledisi get her 3 seconds of shine. (LOST IN FOUND IN STORES NOW!
8:22 Jason Bateman has Outside duty. with the Foo Fighters and the My Grammy Moment Orchestra promoting some random contest designed to drive parents crazy with normal carrier rates applying.
I am voting for the girl with the Cello. Cause aint much more sexy than a woman and her cello.
8:23 Kanye West and a bunch of flames and those silly shades which apparently glow in the dark.
Ye gets better at this everytime I see him. I can rattle off about 12 songs Id Rather hear than this though.
Cool, Glow in the dark Violins.
Ah…my favorite Kanye West Song.
I wonder how glad he is he wrote this song before.
8:30 John Legend has Five Grammys?
News flash: Fergie’s singing ability is vastly overstated.
and you should cop that John Legend Live in Philadelphia if you see it at Target.
They give The Beatles another Grammy.
ok, Who told Tina Turner to stop Aging?
Ok, she didn’t age but her performance did.
And Look out for Beyonce as Etta James in Cadillac Records
As soon as Beyonce admits shes over 30, I will go ahead and place her in the hate free zone.
Cue the obligatory post-Beyonce Performance shot of Jay-Z.
ANOTHER Grammy for Amy Winehouse. (The songwriter’s award? CMON now)
Dexter on CBS??? hmm….im torn as to whether or not to watch on CBS or do the DVD.
Back to Jason Bateman outside in the LA Night.
The First woman wins (Who is QUITE pretty, altough shed be even prettier with a Cello)and now gets to perform with the FOO Fighters.
I don’t know much about the Foo Fighters, I just know they got a cool name.
Oooh a Black Cello. Nice. (what, I got a Woman and Cello Fetish, what do you want?)
George Lopez is a funny dude, but not tonight.
Excuse me while I FF past the dude in the Hat.
One day, Solange will actually be famous.
One Day. .
Best Rap Album goes to Kanye West who did the undoable. He actually Stopped the Music.
And Yes, he DOES own the Grammy For Best Album. This is#3.
Now for the obligatory Gospel Performance, introduced by Ludacris???
Aretha Franklin apparently has been losing weight, so I will save any sideways comments.
BeBe Winans who really needs to thank his sister for carrying him all those years.
Quick, Go Google the Madison Bumblebees all I know Is they blow the ___ out of some Trombones.
The Clark Sisters (who seem to have lost the equivalent of ONE Clark Sister since I saw all four of them last.)
Trinitee 5:7 who is still together, much to my surprise.
Israel and New Breed, my mother’s favorite current Gospel Group.
and now the big Finale, singing a song and I can’t pick out ONE word. But they sound great.
Oh, its the Iphone song and the woman who sang it. Yay.
a woman who won the grammy 50 years and Kid Rock sing a cute duet.
Then they give the Best Rock Album to the Foo Fighters. good for them.
Why do they continue to allow Stevie Wonder in front of live Microphone?
He honors Berry Gordy with a Grammy and then Introduces Alicia Keys, Who sits first Chair in the Hate-Free Zone, although I havent seen those earrings since Leonardo DiCaprio slipped off of it in Titanic.
Alicia Keys. John Mayer. No One. Hot Pants. Let the Church Say Amen.
Two Brits give away the Country Grammy to a guy with no Hat.
Max Roach is a Beast. Good lookin on his Lifetime Grammy.
Herbie Hancock and a Chinese Virtuoso whosname I didn’t catch do an incredible performance of Rhapsody in Blue.
Yo, These two Cats are KILLLLLLING IT.
Taylor Swift and some dude whose name I missed are announcing a Rap Song Collaboration Grammy for Rihanna and Jay.
Cuba Gooding introduces Amy Winehouse live Via Satellite at some UNGODLY Hour in London.
Amy Sings an A & B selection. She sounds great, but im a bit concerned about her physical Coordination.
As for her Backup Singers…they are Ginsu Sharp.
Good for Amy, record of the Year… Please Stay clean.
And is there a rule that Blair Underwood must kiss every average Pretty White woman on Network Television? Blair Underwood and Elaine?
Now for the remembrance section. Pimp C, but no sign of Stack Bundles.
I didn’t know Dan Fogelberg Died.
Yeah, I admit it, I wasn’t Listening so I don’t know who these folk are. And I see now that I don’t know who he is cause no one told me. That’s Josh Groban on Piano, though.
Little Richard, Jerry Lee Lewis and John Fogherty have…a revival?
Jerry Lee Lewis belts out the one song I know of his and Little Richard tries to eclispe that Geico Commercial. I had a Girlfriend with a hairdo like Little Richard’s. Her Makeup was never that flawless though.
Will I Am stops making Videos to give a little medley of random songs.
Damn, Quincy Jones has been getting his Marlon Brando On lately.
Usher has been getting his….Ahh I cant say this.
AND IN A SHOCKER, Its Herbie Hancock. Let me get my ass to The Internet the Store to see what the fuss is all about.
Turn out the lights, Don Meridith and the World Class Wrecking Cru, this show is over.
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