InkogNegro 2.0

Warning: this post weighs in at just under FOUR THOUSAND WORDS.  There will be an abridged Version posted tonight  for those of you allergic to posts of that level.  Proceed with caution. the jokes flow in bunches, even if all of them aren’t funny.

• Powered by Mountain Dew Voltage(blue colored raspberry-citrus and ginseng flavored) my wife’s Hooters leftovers, and Fort Worth’s finest tap water.
  

And so it is, June 24, 2008 and it is time for another illuminating snapshot in Black History.

Yeah, folk, hate all you like, the BET awards are a snapshot in time for where the culture of our people is in 2008.

I am not endorsing this snapshot, I am merely putting it on display.

A fact that my wife just reminded me is an astounding misuse of my God-given ability.

7:00pm – The show opens with one of the many young men who should be paying royalties to Michael Jackson, one Usher Raymond Foster.

Who is apparently getting to the stage in his life where he is too old to be putting out club bangers and has been off the scene (getting his Broadway on, but still) long enough that he looks like he is biting Chris Brown and Ne-yo (who, as I stated earlier, are all biting Michael Jackson.

Speaking of Broadway, I am a bit annoyed that such an accomplished performer as Mr. Raymond is SHAMELESSLY lip-synching. As the elder statesman for male R&B singers, I find this most unacceptable. Surely he could slide in and and do a classic Usher Run or two…but, alas, no.

Michael Jackson is not going to be pleased.

MC Lyte is still doing voice work for BET.

What did I learn from all the names…That SouljaBoy’s last name is Tellem. (Tellem what?)

DL Hughley, (who clearly is the least busy of the Kings of Comedy these days) is the host this year and pretty much came out and proved why he is the ONLY King of Comedy who is ONLY collecting residuals from his show.

7:11 – Jennifer Hudson and Terence Howard prove that having Oscar Nominations won’t prevent awkward and unentertaining banter

Best Male R&B artist: Chris Brown, Raheem Devaughn, J. Holiday, Ne-Yo, Trey Songz .

Chris Brown wins and reminds us that his people skipped past the whole speech making part of artist development. Berry Gordy is mumbling about folk not learning anything from the Motown years.

The hierarchy is: Label, managers, momma, God…and then a promotion of the fans to number one.

Chrysler tries to sell us vehicles that just don’t fit in the modern $4 dollar a gallon economy. But LOTS of cool Gadgets.

Pepsi dusts off an old Super Bowl Commercial with Justin Timberlake. Apparently they don’t have anyone Black on the endorsement list.

Verizon breaks out a good random commercial.

Dreamworks highlights a movie with Iron man playing a brother. Apparently the irony is lost on them.

Hell Date is up for season number 2.

American Gangster season 2 is on DVD. Cause you don’t know nearly enough about the Criminals in our culture.

Oh right…HipHop vs. America.

7:18 – DL Hughley tells us that Jeezy is one of the most exciting rappers to come along in a long time and Jeezy shows us by appearing on stage without so much as a fuckin DJ. Flames and a big screen? Check. Some source for the music? Even a DJ as a prop? Naaaaah.

Apparently Jeezy is too big for HipHop Rule #5: EVERYONE sounds better with a live band.

Cue Kanye who I forgot was on this song. Shows you how much I listen to the radio. Sadly…The best verse is pretty much blanked out. Come on Kanye toda…surely you can clean up the verses for the chirren.

7:23 – Kevin Hart (whose claim to fame is….drumroll…Soul Plane. A Movie so bad even DL Hughley apologized for it.) and Mel B. (who IS fine, just not fine enough to overcome A. Being a Spice Girl and B. getting knocked up by Eddie Murphy only to lose him to the Former Mrs. Babyface(who went on to lose him to Johnny Gill…the Lesson? If Being fine and making a baby can’t keep a man, just being fine wont keep him either…especially if he likes OTHER MEN.)) present…well I still don’t know yet..they are STILL bantering.

Best Male Athlete.(Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Floyd Mayweather Jr., Chris Paul, Tiger Woods)

Okay wait. I LOVE Chris Paul but, COME ON NOW…BEST MALE ATHLETE? He aint even the best BASKETBALL PLAYER LISTED…yet.

Tiger ain’t gonna win cause you know Tiger ain’t there. I know Kobe ain’t there cause he is off getting his Tony Romo on with Mrs. Bryant. (cause Kobe has the good sense to lose in the playoffs THEN go on vacation to Cabo).

Kobe wins. Kevin Garnett Paul Pierce and Ray Allen feel cheated…but only for a second.

Mel and her headlights show Kevin Hart the way back to obscurity.

Um..i don’t know WHO these two are pimpin that whole viewers choice thingy.

Target tries to help Usher sell records. Or tries to help remind Black women to buy records at Target while they buy their towels.

Pizza Hut sells Calzones to black people with only one black dude in the commercial.

Southwest Airlines tells you that the only thing worse than getting your Black Girlfriend’s hair wet is damaging some random Black Man’s classic Mustang.

Post shows you that regular lack folk make cereal for them.

Eddie Murphy has a movie. It’s only PG so it might be funny. Uh oh…Kevin Hart sighting…the movie is doomed.

T-Mobile thinks that Black people know who the Hatfields and McCoys are. Props to them.

O.B. sells tampons…with cartoon ants.

Baldwin Hills is back…and it’s still painful to watch.

I think DL Hughley changed his clothes, but I wasn’t paying attention.

7:31 – Keyshia Cole is singing a song I don’t know from way up in the air only to descend into a puff of smoke. with no band wearing a shredded bed spread..which gets pulled off in exchange for go go boots and shorts.

Yup…she could still get it…

Lil Kim…not so much. You know you are short when Keyshia Cole towers over you. Apparently Missy Elliot is busy.

I kinda wish Keyshia had lip synced.

7:36 – Now we see MC Lyte Read. Toni Braxton wonders if Lyte can afford to pay royalties to her for jacking her 1992 hair game.

Oh look…a Boyz in the hood reunion. Cuba, Cuba Cuba….sigh.

Best Female HipHop Artist (Missy Elliot, Eve, Kid Sister, Lil Mama, Trina)

Wow, Missy’s album isn’t even out yet…Eve dropped a hot single (or two) and was rewarded with a postponement of HER album…Kid Sister is on the periphery of HipHop at BEST(although the video is rather intriguing)..Lil Mama is fighting off one hit wonder status with all she’s got and Trina is currently best known for being the woman who broke up Lil Wayne’s marriage…We should just give this to Lyte, Rah Digga and Jean Grae and K.I.M.

Missy won, but she’s too busy finishing the album she won this award for to attend.

Hancock is coming out soon. Mr. Independence day strikes again. Hard to imagine this being another Wild Wild West.

Subway and Get Smart….hard to get whiter than that.

Chrysler is still selling that mini truck.

AT&T sells black people a cool phone with a commercial they obviously made for use during the Hills.

Two people I don’t recognize tease a show called Somebodies…BET’s first scripted show. 28 years later…I can smell it already.

Baldwin Hills again. Sigh.

DL Hughley rushes through crap written for him to get to a reasonably funny joke that fails because he mangled the lead (Ne-Yo has been with more fine Black Women than Robert DeNiro )…proving again why he is the only King of Comedy without a regular gig.

Ne-Yo gives the performance Usher SHOULD have given.Here is a hint for all yall Michael Jackson wannabes. If you run around and dance for us…we will allow you to sound kinda out of breath. We aren’t that wack.

Ne-Yo gets WAY out front on performance of the night. Shame BET wouldn’t spring for any of these folk to bring out a band. So sad.

LL Cool J leads out Ashanti. LL is so moved by the moment that he didn’t bother to dress up. (BTW…if you haven’t heard LL’s mixtape with Kay Slay…you are missing out)

Ashanti looks like she stole one of Alicia Keys old dresses from the Grammys

Best New Artist (Dream, Estelle, Flo Rida, Chrisette Mchele, Soulja Boy Tellem)

The Dream wins. He didn’t bother showing up because he was so sure Soulja Boy was gonna win.

Ashanti can’t even walk in her heels.

Diet Pepsi Max revives their Grammy Commercial.

Nissan shows Chrysler how to build a car for 2008. If you are too embarrassed to mention the gas mileage…you ain’t got the right car.

Back comes the creepy Verizon wireless commercial.

Pizza Hut and their Calzone.

Roscoe Jenkins is now on DVD, for all y’all bougie mofos too good for bootlegs.

State Farm puts out a decent commercial for Black Folk, reminding me to include them in my hunt for Life/Car insurance.

O.B. again.

Cadillac sells Black folk the Escalade Hybrid. 50% more efficient in the city…which means instead of TWELVE miles a gallon…you’ll get EIGHTEEN MPG. Yeah…that will show those greedy Oil Companies.

Baldwin Hills gets more irritating with each promo.

Yes, I will be watching HipHop vs. America II so you won’t have to.

7:54 – DL Hughley points out Queen Latifah, who clearly doesn’t have anything to plug, or else she would be ON the show. Diddy and mini-him. Then comes Alicia Keys.

Alicia Keys brought her curves and her band and her back up singers dancers. We are grateful. Greens and Cornbread clearly agree with Miss Keys.

Alicia has been in the sun lately. Quincy Jones nods in approval.

Alicia summons the spirits of SWV and gets me weak in the knees, stealing best performance from Ne-Yo.

Then comes EnVogue all of whom are STILL fine. Let us pause for a moment of silence.

Then comes T and C (L rest in peace)…T-Boz is hoarse and Chili is still Fine.

Then comes the reunion. What do we notice…that SWV sold the fewest records but have eaten the best.

8:02 – We love Neicy Nash. Fuck what you’ve heard. I love Neicy Nash so much I will watch the Style network to see her sans Reno 911 butt pad.

What passes for Comedy on BET ensues, but her delivery was on point and she’s Neicy Nash, so +100 for her. (silly me thought she was ACTUALLY trying to encourage the adoption of African-American children, but why would anyone let a critical issue in the Black Community get in the way of a good joke?)

Best Male HipHop Artist – Common, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Snoop Dogg, Kanye West)

David Paterson can see this one coming. If Kanye had any integrity…yup…he does..he brings up Wayne. If only he had handed over the trophy. No such luck.

The Cast of Baldwin Hills proves they can read. Still can’t act. But they can read.

Tide sells Detergent with White-Tees, Drew from Everybody hates Chris and MC Lyte on the voice over.

McDonald’s sells Big Macs with HipHop.

Wanted is coming out Friday. Hello DVD.

Toyota shows Chrysler how to sell cars to Black folk.

Baldwin Hills STILL sucks.

Ciroc Ultra Premium Vodka is pandering to Black folk.

Hell Date season Two…as if you didn’t know THAT was coming.

Wyclef Jean sells Voting in the US while wearing a Poland soccer Jacket.

BET’s American Gangster season two is STILL on DVD, in case you missed it an hour ago.

8:10 T-Pain is on stage with all kinds of props. Singing some random song that might be on his album…His lil magic Mic is working well. Noooo..hes Lipsynching.

We are regaled with all the hits Teddy Pinherass down has Sung um…. On.

Flo-Rida

Rick Ross

DJ Khaled

Big Boi wasn’t about to lip synch his verse.

Neither was Ludacris.

Let the record show that BET couldn’t be bothered to silence the N-Word.

8:17 – Derek Luke and Gabrielle Union don’t do the bad BET writing bit any better.

Video of the Year (Ashanti – The way that you love me, E. Badu – Honey, Mary J. Blige, Just Fine, Alicia Keys – Like you’ll Never See Me again, UGK n Outkast – Players Anthem, Kanye West, Good Life)

UGK wins, giving us a chance to hear from one of the smartest Rappers in the industry, Bun B.

I see Pimp C. had a wife…there is a certain irony in that just tickles me.

Big Boi doesn’t miss a chance to plug his solo project.

Target shows Black people they are classier than Walmart.

Ford makes better cars than they used to.

KFC has chipotle flavored Chicken. Seriously.

Ice Cube is STILL making kid movies. This one should be Called Akeelah and the Skinny Post. Apparently they are still trying to get the movie down to a PG rating, because it isn’t rated yet.

Lincolns are fly….even if they are gussied up Fords.

Baldwin Hills STILL sucks.

(dudes are calling women scrapes? SERIOUSLY?)

8:28 – DL Hughley just introduced Marvin Sapp as the man with the most recognizable Warren Sapp. Ima need a few minutes. *pauses the recording*

10 minutes later…

Ladies and gentlemen…the best singers still sing for Jesus. And OFCOURSE HE has a band (complete with string section)AND a choir.

8:31 cue the obligatory shot of Kirk Franklin.

8:32 so…FOUR minutes into the performance…I notice that there has been a slide show behind him…showing singular moments in our history, culminating with a shot of the Obamas in Iowa on June 6. The show SHOULD be ending right here…but this IS BET after all…and the notion of any kind of perspective is just anathema to them…so let the fuckery commence as soon as this is over.

8:34 and DL Hughley is apologizing.

8:35…Mary Mary and Lisa Lisa…I guess Mister Mister was busy.

Best Gospel Artist – The Clark Sisters, Kirk Franklin, Deitrick Haddon, Marvin Sapp, Trinitee 5:7

Marvin Sapp wins just for showing up and singing. Now someone get him back to humanity.

Dr. Ian Smith wants yall to lose weight.

Only white kids wear Pull-Ups but buy them anyway.

Go see wanted because Common is in it.

Wendy’s makes milkshakes.

What’s the best way to sell a sleek new Cadillac? White women talking bougie.

Baldwin sucks more now than it did an hour ago.

I still don’t know who this guy is BET gave a show to.

BET tells you why you should vote.

Baldwin Hills sucks but Buy the 1^st season on DVD, cause nothing eases the sucking like adding scenes that sucked so bad that it intensified the sucking to levels BET couldn’t tolerate.

HipHop vs. America II is coming on tomorrow.

8:43 – See, Ursh? Even Chris Brown is Singing…you know you dun Effed up, right?

Whoaaa….Easy with the gyrations Chris…Youll never get on Nickelodeon like that.

The shower in the back ground showed me that it was Ciara, cause my old ass wasn’t sure.

8:47 David Banner Brandon T. Jackson, Solange, Soulja Boy Tellem and Cassie represent Generation Now, even though NONE of them have had a hit in this calendar year. (no, Yaaah Bitch Yaaaah, doesn’t count as a HIT.) I had to look up Brandon T. Jackson to learn that he has a show on the N network…which I am sure I get, but I don’t know where it is.

What passes for a public Service Announcement happens.

Best Collaboration – T Pain and, TPain and, TPain and, TPain and, Keyshia Cole and Kim and Missy

Kanye and TPain win. But not before David Banner plugs HIS new album. TPain comes up in slow motion. Kanye says we should be blessed to be in TPain’s presence. This from the same cat who said Soulja Boy Tellem was on some Nas level. Kanye ya Killin me.

I wonder if David Banner knows that Nas’ album drops on the same day as his? The rest of the world knows…because Def Jam paid good money to advertise.

The recycled Pepsi Commercial with Justin Timberlake is back

So is the Pizza Hut Calzone commercial.

The Eddie Murphy movie looks funny, (it is 3am right now…so take that for what it’s worth)

Verizon sells black folk smart phones by showing a white man texting on a Black mans phone.

Lincoln sells Cars with classy innuendo. The Irony is totally lost on all parties involved.

Southwest sells flying to Black folk by showing uncomfortable white folk.

Crest shows you Black girls with pretty teeth.

Hell Date blah blah blah.

Baldwin Hills.

8:57 – John Legend gets a free plug while introducing Al Green.

John Legend misses the easiest Joke in the world by leaving out the most logical end to this comparison: Says

Al Green is Gospel He is Soul he is Rock and roll he is Collard Greens Cornbread Spades and Church Fans. But MOST OF ALL….he is Hot Grits.

Take notes chirren…see if you can learn something from this.

(and WHERE IS OUR AL GREEN BIO PIC?)

On comes Jill Scott to serenade us with an Al Green Song

No one lives Jilly from Philly like Inkognegro…but…isn’t there a certain irony in the stereotypical strong black woman singing Rev. Grits Green? Sorry…this is BET. The people who brought us Yolanda Adams singing Chaka Khan’s Sweet thing. They are impervious to Irony.

Let us bring on the man who will PLAY Al Green in the BIO PIC he deserves…Anthony Hamilton, who has finally sold enough records to not look homeless.

Uh…Maxwell steps in out of ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKIN WHERE AND KILLS simply beautiful. I think women all over southern California melted into a pool of bodily fluids and perfume.

Maybe NOW we can get another fuckin album dammit.

Ill even forgive him for the sneakers.

This is why I even bother with this damn show.

Shout out to Donna Richardson – Joyner (Ill never admit that wack yellow dude scored my favorite fitness diva)

Al sounds like he passed his speechwriters on to Chris Brown.

Then they let him sing.

But not from off his NEW album….only the young folk can plug their new shit.

Let’s stay together….and let us see random black celebrities mug for the camera.

The only thing this segment is missing is the Obamas.

So…here.

And yes…the ENTIRE crowd knows the words.

Al Green takes it to the Gutter…err Pulpit…errrr…somewhere familiar to ALL of us.

He proceeds to RIP Love and Happiness.

There is a certain poetic quality to this moment. Which BET is about to fuck up by not allowing HIM to close the show. Cause we got more Fuckery to go.

Why close the show with history…when we got Lil Wayne in the house.

Only BET would let Wayne upstage Al Green. Like he can Possibly TOUCH Reverend Albert Green.

Now I am irritated.

Alicia Keys hands over the Inkognegro Best Performance award without protest.

Target reminds Black people that Target is cooler than Wal-Mart.

Nissan reminds GM, Ford and Chrysler why they are hemmoraging money.

Go see HellBoy II even if you didn’t see HellBoy I.

Yup…Its true….KFC has Smoky Chipotle Crispy Chicken.

There is that anonymous cat with the show on BET. I think I make more than he is getting for this show that I refuse to name OR Google.

Fuck Baldwin Hills. (the show…not the place)

HipHop vs. America II blah blah blah.

Wyclef says BET says vote for Obama…REALLY subtly.

This shit is STILL on 2 and a half hours later.

Terrence Rocsi and some random dude present the Viewers choice award

Chris Brown and whatshisname – Kiss Kiss

Keyshia Cole and her and her – Let it Go

Alicia Keys – No One

Soulja Boy Tellem – Crank Dat

Lil Wayne feat some other dude I aint even know was on the song- Lollipop

Jordin Sparks and the dancing fella – No Air

Wayne gets his award and brings his family….or is that ALL of New Orleans with him.

9:30 – DL Hughley tells a Young Buck joke.

9:32 Rihanna has the unfortunate task of following Albert Green. That no one smacks the shit out of whomever thought this would be a good idea is a travesty of Robert Kelly verdict proportions.

Hey Ursh…EVEN SHE is singing. And better than usual.

And Jay-Z knew better than to send her out there bandless.

Number of obligatory Chris Brown shots during this song:

Other awards.

Best Group – UGK. Nothing like death to get you a posthumous award.

Best Video Director – Erykah Badu and Chris Robinson (Honey). But not best Video? THAT makes sense.

Best Actress – Halle Berry – did she even HAVE a movie last year?

Best Actor – Denzel Washington – DUH.

BETJ award – Raheem Devaughn. But…he aint even JAZZ?

GM talks about 0% financing….ill let that joke tell itself.

Will Smith’s kid sells McDonald’s

Verizon has the white dude texting with the black dudes phone. And then smackin the Black dude’s hand off. On BET…seriously.

The Lizard and Naomi Campbell sell that drink I remember.

Cartoon Ants and Tampons from O.B .

White folk and Garnier Fructis…can black folk EVEN USE that shampoo?

Disney tells black folk to go see Wall-E on Friday

Chrysler is STILL shilling that truck.

Hell Date….still.

Diddy and his BET Awards After Party by Ciroc ultra premium vodka.

Debra Lee comes out for her yearly appearance…and the words I am sorry don’t cross her lips ONCE. Aaron McGruder shakes his head in sadness.

She introduces Quincy Jones for the Humanitarian award. Cause NO ONE has done more for Humans this year than Quincy Jones. That was snarky. But the lionization of celebrity in our culture deserves some snark.

Congratulations, Mr. Jones.

Queen Latifah introduces Quincy Jones.

Quincy Jones says thank you. It takes a while…but he does say thank you.

Eventually.

Ford tries in Vain to keep up with Nissan and Toyota

White Folk black folk how to use Bounty Towels.

Wanted starts Friday.

Baldwin Hills

Hell Date.

Rap it up.

HipHop vs. America II….in case you didn’t see it the first three times.

Ashanti interrupts DL to talk about some stuff I don’t know ANYTHING about.

Nelly has no shirt on…Jermaine Dupri has a Jacket on…but

Now…um…this is a song about …Jordans. From a man about had a song about Air Force Ones…

Cause we ALL know what we need now is a song about Tennis shoes.

Universal must have REALLY ponied up to get Rihanna, Nelly and Wayne to close the show.

I guess Nelly knows this is his last shot to make it.

Diddy and Lauren London get their mutual Congratulation on.

Its been a Great year for Black folk.

Obama or die.

Bring out the liquor.

The fuckery is so bad my eyes are starting to glaze over.

Best Female R&B (Mary J. Blige, Keyshia Cole, Mariah Carey, Rihanna, Alicia Keys)

Alicia Keys Kills the competition….as if there actually was any.

Clearly, Clive Davis showed Alicia Keys how to give a thank you speech.

10:05 – As we approach Overtime, Lil Waynes performance is teased for the 4,532,676,111^th time.

The white dude shills for a Cadillac truckish vehicle.

Buy Toilet Paper

The really cool and smart State Farm Commercial

Southwest Airlines breaks out the shiv for the other airlines.

Pizza Hut doesn’t want black people to know they serve pasta…just pizza wings and calzones.

That show with the black kids in Southern California.

10:07 – He needs no introduction.

The perfect rapper has to have tattoos, sell a million a week, and be from New Orleans.

That’s what the boy said.

Three halves of a song later…it was over.

So…what did we learn…we learned that the show ended with Reverend Albert Green and then Universal came out to sell records.

Thank you BET.

See ya for the HipHop awards.

Just cause you’ve been down for me since Before I lost my mind, don’t think you gonna just be able to make me do your bidding.

By Request from my favorite Cleveland Browns fan

She asks me to address this particular issue regarding Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed Barack Obama vs. Bill Clinton.

The following was posted in Newsweek

Summary
A misleading e-mail has been making the rounds, alleging that Clinton has fewer legislative accomplishments than Obama, and that they are less substantive. We’ve had questions about it from a number of readers, and blogs have jumped into the fray. So what’s the real story on the Senate careers of the Democratic presidential candidates?

We find that the e-mail is false in almost every particular:

It sets up a face-off between apples and, well, broccoli, comparing only the Clinton-sponsored bills that became law with all bills sponsored or cosponsored by Obama, whether they were signed into law or not.

It includes legislation Obama sponsored in the Illinois state Senate, a very different legislative body.

It tells us that Obama has sponsored more legislation than Clinton, when in fact he has sponsored less.

It implies that Obama has passed more bills into law than Clinton, when the opposite is true.
Contrary to the e-mail’s assertions, Clinton’s and Obama’s contributions are not qualitatively different, and quantitatively, Clinton has the edge.

The email in question???

You judge for yourself!

Quite impressive!! It?s unfortunate that this information is not being communicated effectively.

Let’s take a closer look at who’s really qualified and or who’s really working for the good of all of us in the Senate. Obama or Clinton.

Records of these two candidates should be scrutinized in order to make an informed decision.

Senator Clinton, who has served only one full term – 6yrs. – and another year campaigning, has managed to author and pass into law – 20 – twenty pieces of legislation in her first six years.

These bills can be found on the website of the Library of Congress www.thomas.loc.gov , but to save you trouble, I’ll post them here for you.

1. Establish the Kate Mullany National Historic Site.
2. Support the goals and ideals of Better Hearing and Speech Month.
3. Recognize the Ellis Island Medal of Honor.
4. Name courthouse after Thurgood Marshall.
5. Name courthouse after James L. Watson.
6. Name post office after Jonn A. O’Shea.
7. Designate Aug. 7, 2003, as National Purple Heart Recognition Day.
8. Support the goals and ideals of National Purple Heart Recognition Day.
9. Honor the life and legacy of Alexander Hamilton on the bicentennial of his death.
10. Congratulate the Syracuse Univ. Orange Men’s Lacrosse Team on winning the championship.
11. Congratulate the Le Moyne College Dolphins Men’s Lacrosse Team on winning the championship.
12. Establish the 225th Anniversary of the American Revolution Commemorative Program.
13. Name post office after Sergeant Riayan A. Tejeda.
14. Honor Shirley Chisholm for her service to the nation and express condolences on her death.
15. Honor John J. Downing, Brian Fahey, and Harry Ford, firefighters who lost their lives on duty.

Only five of Clinton’s bills are, more substantive.
16. Extend period of unemployment assistance to victims of 9/11.
17. Pay for city projects in response to 9/11
18. Assist landmine victims in other countries.
19. Assist family caregivers in accessing affordable respite care.
20. Designate part of the National Forest System in Puerto Rico as protected in the wilderness preservation system.

There you have it, the fact’s straight from the Senate Record.

Now, I would post those of Obama’s, but the list is too substantive, so I’ll mainly categorize.
During the first – 8 – eight years of his elected service he sponsored over 820 bills. He introduced
233 regarding healthcare reform,
125 on poverty and public assistance,
112 crime fighting bills,
97 economic bills,
60 human rights and anti-discrimination bills,
21 ethics reform bills,
15 gun control,
6 veterans affairs and many others.

His first year in the U.S. Senate, he authored 152 bills and co-sponsored another 427. These inculded **the Coburn-Obama Government Transparency Act of 2006 – became law, **The Lugar-Obama Nuclear Non-proliferation and Conventional Weapons Threat Reduction Act, – became law, **The Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act, passed the Senate, **The 2007 Government Ethics Bill, – became law, **The Protection Against Excessive Executive Compensation Bill, In committee, and many more.

In all, since entering the U.S. Senate, Senator Obama has written 890 bills and co-sponsored another 1096.

An impressive record, for someone who supposedly has no record according to some who would prefer that this comparison not be made public.

He’s not just a talker.

He’s a doer.

Pass it on….It’s impressive!

My response: Tsk, Tsk, Tsk…First things first. As a dedicated and insistent supporter and dare I say, FAN of Barack Obama, let me state categorically that anyone with the audacity to send me this wack pile of zeroes and ones would be berated as though they sent me an e-mail suggesting that Bill Gates will send me a bunch of money for sending an email. It is obviously misleading, and frankly, it’s beneath the Obama campaign. It might be beneath the Clinton campaign, as well. Rather than rely on anonymous emails, they choose to trot out party leaders.

Richard Pryor Pastor Manny trotted out this beauty a few days back.

“If I had to make a prediction right now, I’d say Barack Obama is going to be the next president…,” he said. “I will be stunned if he is not the next president of the United States. Now, when he is sworn in, 99.9 percent of Americans won’t know who he is or what he stands for. But it doesn’t matter at this point.”

That’s because, Cleaver says, many white Americans are supporting Obama because “they are looking at Barack Obama and saying this is our chance to demonstrate that we have been able to get this boogeyman called race behind us and so they are going to vote for him.”

He says this is causing many African-Americans to “tremble” because they believe white Americans won’t want to address issue of race then, saying it’s been addressed by Obama’s election.

Still, he’s not behind a Obama candidacy. Cleaver says he has been personal friends with the Clintons for 20 years, he doesn’t know Sen. Barack Obama and he believes Clinton would make the best president.

“I don’t abandon my friends,” Cleaver said. He said if he abandoned Clinton now then he couldn’t look himself in the mirror.

He likens Clinton to the Chiefs and Obama to the Colts, saying he knows the Colts will win but he’s always cheering for his Chiefs.

The far-ranging interview went national this afternoon. (AP and CNN have picked it up among others). That occurred after it caught the attention of the Obama friendly Politico.com because of Cleaver’s prediction that Obama will win the presidency.

But Politico.com didn’t note Cleaver offered two ways that Obama’s candidacy could doom itself.

He said if Obama’s handlers insist he continue to talk about race, then “He has just eliminated any possibility of winning the presidency.” Cleaver said now isn’t the right time to have a true discussion about race in America and during a presidential campaign it would only be a superficial one.

Also, Cleaver said Obama could lose the presidency if the Democratic Party disenfranchises Michigan and Florida voters. He said if those voters lose their voice then “we are going to do what Democrats have done many times and that is deliberately run off the cliff.”

“sang along if you know tha words.”

We now return to the Bidding in progress

If we are going to start talking about Senatorial accomplishments then why don’t we discuss how helpful Senator KerryGlennBradleyGoreStevensonBidenDoleDoddTsongasHartHarkin.. *inhales*

EdwardsLiebermanMcGovernHumphreyBrownbackGravel’s long list of accomplishments in the US Senate was for them. Discussing and comparing legislative acheivements between Clinton and Obama is like having Cleveland Browns fans and Chicago Cubs fans discussing post-season exploits in the modern era.

and NOW…we return to our Hiatus…still in progress.

I don’t like the look of this spot at all.

What is it about sleeping babies @ 3AM and a ringing phone in the White House that makes the two at all relevant.

I mean, really now, it was 8:45 am when the first plane hit the towers.

And let us not even discuss what Bill Clinton was doing during a few of HIS White House Phone calls (withdrawn, he said snarkily).

I am missing out on what it is that makes us think that somehow the world is only going to go to hell in the middle of the night.

Which means…There is something else going on.

Allow me to translate, as it revealed itself to me at first blush.

“Do you trust that Black man with the funny name to protect your precious babies at 3AM? Because you know that’s when Black men like to come and rob your house.”

Heck, why stop there, Go ahead and get Uncle Ruckus involved:

Yeah, NSFW (its a BOONDOCKS clip, c’mon now)

UPDATE: Oh….THIS didn’t take Long.

and neither did this:

We live in a time where one of the front runners for president of the United States is a Black Man (spare me the details, it is what it is).

It is easy for many to act like this is the big moment and that suddenly we don’t have to worry about racial progress. The fact remains is that in even the most mundane issues, (one man’s mundane issue is another man way to feed his family, mind you) There are still mountains to climb.

Tomorrow there will be a protest registered to highlight another obstacle that exists for people of color.

The Comics

You could call it a sit-in, of sorts. Perhaps a sketch-in would be more appropriate, a comic call to arms, with cartoonists of color protesting for greater presence in newspaper pages. Protesting in the best way they know: drawing about it, en masse, all on the same day.

Because, these artists say, “Candorville” does not equal “Boondocks” or “Curtis” or “Wee Pals” or “Herb and Jamaal.” And “La Cucaracha” does not equal “Baldo” or “Gordo” and especially not “Cafe con Leche.”

But for one day — this Sunday — 11 cartoonists of color will be drawing essentially the same comic strip, using irony to literally illustrate that point. In each strip, the artists will portray a white reader grousing about a minority-drawn strip, complaining that it’s a “Boondocks” rip-off and blaming it on “tokenism.” “It’s the one-minority rule,” says Lalo Alcaraz (“La Cucaracha”). “We’ve got one black guy and we’ve got one Latino. There’s not room for anything else.”

Now I will be honest. I’ve never read the Comics in my local Newspaper (the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, or should I say the Fort Worth edition of the McClatchy Press) because clearly the Editors didn’t want me to.

In fact, Let me stop and go peep today’s comics and see what I am missing.

*leaves to retrieve today’s comics out of the recycle can*

Hmm…Let’s see.

Two full Pages…a total of 32 Multi-panel strips and 10 singles. They stash Mallard Fillmore over on the Opinion Page where I do my best to ignore it.

Yup.

That good ole stand by Curtis and Baldo hold it down for the Cartoons of color.

This one was pretty good though

I take my comics seriously. I started out reading the Sunday Comics in the as Pittsburgh Press (RIP) as a child. I always read the comics, even as an adult.

Then Came the Boondocks. I was a Boondocks Stan. I remembered them in the Source (the original Source, not that thing they trot out now) . A good friend of mine knew Aaron Magruder and I even met the cat once. Cool Cat.

I can’t speak for you, but I remember picking up the Washington Post everyday to see what Huey and Riley were up to. To be honest, as amused as I am by the Cartoon Network version there is no comparison to the glory days of the comic strip. Then one day, my divorce-fueled mental breakdown took hold and I stopped following it religiously.

I never really got back to it like I should have. That is my fault.

I moved to Pittsburgh and migrated to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette where The Boondocks had migrated to the Opinion section.

Then I moved to Texas and since the Fort Worth Star-Telegram apparently had cancelled the Strip becuase apparently folk caught feelings. (you know how sensitive Republicans can be.)

Then, I just stopped even Looking.

Last night while radio surfing I came across Darrin Bell on the PRI Radio show Fair Game

Darrin Bell is a the creator of the Comic Strip Candorville, which i have NEVER SEEN BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

I was inspired all over again.

We need to Support this brother and his quest to bring More color to the funny pages and not just the color on the pages on Sunday.

I did my part. Look out for The Ink Sponsoring a strip one day soon.

(The Soundtrack to Today’s Post was brought to you by The Neptunes)

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Now playing: Eric Benet – Love Don’t Love Me feat. Pharrell and Clipse
via FoxyTunes

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Now playing: Mystikal – Jump
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Now playing: faith evans-burnin’ up (remix) (ft. missy elliot & p.diddy) (01′)
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Now playing: Pharrell – Frontin’ (ft. Mobb Deep) (Remix)
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Now playing: Bow Wow – Take Ya Home
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Now playing: Pras Feat. Kelis & Cipse – Watcha Gonna Do[Neptunes Remix]
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Now playing: Jennifer Lopez Feat. Ghostface Killah – Love Don’t Cost a Thing (Neptunes Remix) (DJ Version)
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Now playing: Noreaga – Nothin’ (ft. P.Diddy & Foxy Brown, Capone & Awnpoynt) (Remix)
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Now playing: Busta Rhymes Feat. P.Diddy & Pharrell Williams – Pass The Courvoisier Pt. II
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Now playing: Justin Timberlake Feat. E-40 – Rock Your Body[Remix]
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Let us pour a little out for the immediate Career fortunes of David Shuster, shall we?

Be on the Lookout for the new book: How to Slang Your Way Out of a Job by David ShusterFor those of you who AREN’T on the crack of cable news political reporting, please watch the following video.

Now, once upon a time,  when you said the word “Pimp” as a verb you were referring specifically to he that employs a woman to, ahem, entertain a man in exchange for money.  That money went to the person, presumably a man, who put the woman in “business”.

That literal meaning still holds, but there have arisen more metaphorical definitions.  These definitions include one that relates to the act of securing person A to work for  person B’s benefit.

Of course, in the omnipresent eyes of the media cycle and under scrutiny that has ratched up several notches by virtue of poor word choice in some cases, nefarious political machinations in others, plain simple lack of common sense in others, and a combination of all those in the rest.

Mr. Shuster seemed clearly to be interested in being cutting edge by taking a risque’ verb and jabbing a heretofore pristine subject.

And let me add, parenthetically, that I understand the underlying issue involved and I have been rather bemused by the fact that Chelsea Clinton has played such a visible role while never taking fire from the media.

All that said, Dude was DEAD ASS WRONG.

So, Mr. Shuster, lemme holla @ you for a minute.

You DO understand that you fucked up NOW, right?

Your emails initially showed me that you didn’t quite understand the fuss.

C’mon dude, SHE WAS THE FIRST KID FOR EIGHT YEARS.

SHE’S WAS THE ONLY PERSON WITH THE LAST NAME CLINTON THAT PEOPLE HAVE NEVER HATED.

WTF WERE YOU THINKING???

Okay, I know you were thinking, but

WHY WEREN’T YOU THINKING ABOUT HOW NASTY IT SOUNDS TO BE TALKING ABOUT A MOTHER PIMPING HER CHILD???????

You know what?  I can’t talk to folk who ain’t got good sense.

Since you wanna learn about pimpin, talk to my favorite pimp

Youtube link deleted.

No, wait.  I can’t do that. Then I would be as stupid as David Shuster.

Dave, you can find him on Youtube, handle ya business.