GET YOUR MIND OFF MY PENIS: A Prelude
Allow me to paint a not so hypothetical scenario for you…
A middle aged white man decides to demonstrate that he is clearly in need of a significant level of professional help from a mental health specialist by Launching an gun attack on a group of women in a Pittsburgh Fitness center.
As fate would have it…We know why he did it because he was considerate enough to leave a note outlining his hatred for women.
Later…a blog of his was found in which he delves into some bizarre unhip dialect of ebonics where he decides to sentence white women to a lifetime of impalement and general abuse by Black Penises. He figured that since we had conquered the White House (thanks to the Liberal Media, of course) that we could be his useful idiots and screw white women the way he thinks Obama will screw the country.
Oh…you DON’T believe me?
*cues the horrible scratch of the record in my head*
Why?
What did my penis do to get inserted into this situation. Don’t Black men and their penises (Penii?) get enough drama for the issues they actually involve themselves in without Getting added in as accessories after the fact?
I was out in the streets for most of today, so I only heard snippets from the army of talking heads referencing racism and Obama.
Now, I am not exactly a mental health specialist, although I’ve been known to perpetrate one on Twitter.
Suffice to say whenever a straight white man fantasizes about white women being savaged sexually by Black men, it is bound to cause attention.
As the OWNER of a black penis…I confess that I am just a weeeeeeeee (Penile Punnishness alert) bit uncomfortable with the insertion (theres another one) of my penis into such a tragedy.
The unfortunate reality is that the mere presence of a Black Penis, no matter how incidental to the topic, can tilt the focus towards the penis. In this series, I will address some of my own suspicions and issues with black penises. (Penii?)
As I ponder the penis for way more time than I have any business doing…I would encourage you to post in the comments sections particular questions and comments for me to address.
More on this tomorrow.
Here’s my comment. Never seen the word “PEnis” so much in one essay in my life.
Brilliant. I know.
Jonzee
August 7, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Penii is not a word. I heard the record scratch in my head loudly. That deserves a WTF for starters. That craziness does reopen the question of why white men (in general) are intimidated by black men (in general) whereas white men’s politics are still socially screwing (yes I said it) the country into oblivion. Obama’s been president for less than a year so what are they so scared of??
Onye
August 14, 2009 at 2:02 pm
>That craziness does reopen the question of why white men (in general) are intimidated by black men (in general)
I think that’s over-played by blacks (in general).
It may ring true for whites over 60, but most younger white folks I know are more sophisticated than that.
>whereas white men’s politics are still socially screwing (yes I said it) the country into oblivion.
It’s not just white men’s politics; it’s everyone, white, black, or Hispanic. Politics is an inherantly dishonest profession. Think about it — who on Earth would spend millions of dollars of his and other people’s money for a chance at a job that pays $400k (ie, the Presidency)? It doesn’t make any sense, unless you’re on a power trip.
Rick
August 22, 2009 at 1:54 am
This looney blaming black folks for, ultimately, his inability to score with white women, is no different than Alicia Keys saying gansta rap was a conspiracy launched by “the Government” to keep black people down (or AIDS or crack or fill-in-the-blank problem).
He’s just giving the crazy-armed-white-guy version, instead of the talented-black-gal version.
Regardless, both ideas are delusional. I’ve worked in a government office. “The Government” couldn’t organize a church bake sale.
Rick
August 22, 2009 at 1:40 am
I’ll just sit in shock til it’s over.
FlawedBeauty
October 12, 2009 at 9:56 am
I need a shower….
Pigskinlovinglady
November 5, 2009 at 2:07 pm